[howaboutthis]

So this is going to be a summery of 6 months in a few paragraphs Ill try to keep it as short as possible without leaving out any details. I appreciate any advise. Im a 32 year old male and shes a 26 year old female.

Almost six months ago I went out town and ended meeting the girl of my dreams. The only problem is that she lives about 500 miles away from me. I make my way down there almost every 10 days just to be with her. When Im with her I feel like the world is perfect and that she completes me. Sometimes we go out for dinner and movies, other times we will just stay at home, talk and lay in each others arms. One night while sitting on a balcony I was just looking into her eyes and I told her i loved her, without hesitation she told me that she loved me. I honestly didn’t mean to say it cause it put me in a vulnerable state but I didn’t care and it just felt right. From the very beginning of our relationship she told me about her past relationships and issues with herself/family and I accepted it, I told her not to worry and not to judge me on previous experiences. To just take it day by day. She told me that she gets depressed and cry’s for no reason, and that she gets angry over nothing so I knew what I was walking into. To this very day we have only had one little argument which was resolved with a little conversation and explanation of a misunderstood action on my behalf.

Now here is the situation that I find myself in. In the beginning we would talk almost every day and if not we would send a few texts back and forth. For the past month or so she has been distant and I don’t know why. When I go stay with her everything seems fine so I refrain from pressing the topic. If anything she makes me feel like shes totally in love with me too. She wants me to always hold her in bed ( which I have always been a sleep apart person, but I love her in my arms). When we go out we seem to be a very much in love couple, holding hands and kissing while stopping at a crosswalk. I understand shes a very independent woman and needs her space and I totally respect that cause Im the same way. Im not the type of guy that likes to play games, but I also don’t want to be that needy guy. I think about her all the time and am always missing her. Honestly I have to say that I do hear from her about every other day, either a short text telling me that she miss me, loves me or I cant wait to see you. Some times it a little text or call about her day. I know that she gets real stressed out about her work and life in general so I dont ever press her for more than she wants to give especially over the phone. I always just let her know that Im here for her if she needs me. I guess in most relationships I have ever been in people get closer and want more of each others time. In this situation it seems like she needs more space as we proceed futher into our relationship.

I guess Im just looking for other peoples opinion on how to approach this situation. In every other relationship I would just lay it out their or walk away, never had a problem with it. This girl has got me good though. Whats making it hard is the distance and sometimes not knowing whats going on in her head. I know how much I care for her and I would do anything to really give this relationship a chance.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like when you’re together, everything is great, but that the ten days you have apart from each other are what is bothering you. However, if after six months, you’re hearing from her every other day…. it really doesn’t sound like there’s a big problem. It sounds like you’re used to a woman being more needy, and she’s taking the relationship at face value. I usually recommend that at six months, you decide if this is someone you want to be monogamous with — and it sounds like you do want that with her. If this is someone you’re considering marrying, then the next six months are what I consider the time you’re monogamous, “official” and you start meeting her family, introducing her to yours, your friends, etc. In other words, you get to know her more deeply and focus on the question of whether this is your future Ms. Right. During this time you should think seriously about whether she’s someone you want to marry or not, and if you are interested in marrying her, you move the relationship up to the next level. I think that if she sees your investment, she’s going to respond positively — or let you know that this isn’t a serious relationship for her. Either way, the move is yours. 😉

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[howaboutthis]

I have realized that being in a long distance relationship is tough and maybe I am used to a girl that is more needy. On that note I have tried to take the relationship for the face value and just go by what she tells me and how I feel. Not on what goes on in my imagination. I just came back from seeing her and it seems like I fall in love with her that much more each and every time I see her. We have made plans to travel and meet some of her family and I am really looking forward to it. I did forget to mention that I have met her sister on numerous occasions. In the begining she told me that her sisters opinion is the one that she values the most and I think we get along great.

When I look at her I can see a real future, with marriage definutly in the picture. I just dont want to rush things cause I am a jump first kind of guy, I believe in fate and destiny. I have been in my fair share of relationships over the past 17 years and I know what I feel for her is true. Ive never been married or even engaged so to even think about it is a little overwellming. The problem is going to be the distance and her depression issues. I know I am willing to move and am more than willing to stand by her, in the good and bad and just be there for her

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Thanks for the update. It sounds like you’ve really thought things through. 🙂

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