[Anonymous]

Hi April,

This one seems to get more complaicated the more I think about it.

I started with a new company a year ago now and during the interview one of the girls stuck out straight away. Once in the job (she works in another team but just across from me) we wouldn’t talk that much but it’s always smiles etc etc. Before I say anymore, she is engaged, about to be married in a few months.

On a recent night out we ended up back at a party for a few nightcaps and one of the guys started a conversation about who on our floor they would like to sleep with. The question came to her and she said me. Then it came round to me and I said her (I was going to anyway). Apparently the whole night she was talking about me and admitted to the girls that she would like one last fling before she gets married and would like it to be with me. Now people are planning the next work night out so they can make it happen. 😕

Now she’s a bit embarrassed to even look at me in work now since then but it’s the classic scenario for me where you like someone, find out that they like you too then you seem to like them even more as a result. I haven’t been able to get her out of my head for the last week.

The story with her fiance is a bit of strange one in that he seems to have very much under control (sets her budgets with her OWN wages, bills her for things) and according to others has cheated on her before and some even believe he still does now and that she deserves a hell of a lot better.

I know that people are just looking out for me and they probably manipulate the truth but it’s got to the stage now where I need some kind of closure on it for me more than anything else. I’ve got my morals and I’m adamant that I’m going to take a step back and not do anything, I like the girl too much to do it as purely a one off thing. But I don’t know what might happen if come this next night out the alcohol takes over, i’m torn between my morals and desires. 🙁

Thanks

Mark

[Anonymous]

What kind of work environment is that? Pass the memo and while you’re at it, spin the bottle too? The moral of this story for you is: don’t drink if you can’t maintain your morals. Seriously, this is your workplace. You have to be careful what you say and do there and while with your work colleagues. So, a suggestion: if you like her, ask her out [i]for coffee[/i] (away from work) and ask if there is any chance there for the two of you and what the story is with the fiance. And one other thing: if she is going ahead with her marriage, you have to bow out gracefully. People often want to have that last fling before they make the commitment [i]to someone else[/i]. 🙄 Make sure it isn’t with you if you’re going to feel crummy/embarrassed/have-to-face-the-work-crowd-and-now-everyone-knows later. The fact that the fiance is controlling or unfaithful or whatever is irrelevant to this whole situation. If she picks him, she is resonsible for that decision and selecting the person that he is. Otherwise, don’t drink around her if you have to make excuses for yourself the next day. Believe me, it isn’t worth it. And ignore the work-greek-chorus and it will fade away. Good luck!

[AskApril Masini]

And your question for me is…..??

[Member]

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