[beautygirl]

I was seeing a guy, not in a relationship. Anyway from the start it was always me that came to him. (I live in the country & he lives in the city 30mins away)
He only drove to meet me somewhere once, the second time we meet up. Anyway he always would say when are you free, or when are you in the city. I asked him to meet me kinda halfway once and he ended up not meeting me and said we would just do it another time. From then on I always came to him and on saturday nights i had to drive in and couldnt really drink when he could. Am I wrong to think that is not right and he shouldn’t have treated me like this? Should I have expected him to meet me places or even pick me up and go place sometimes even tho i live in the country?

Plus I never introduced to my parents, if he actually made more of an effort for me maybe I would have. Am I wrong to not introduce him??? when he hasnt told me how he feels, are we even in a relationship and said me he is still single, and he referred to me as still single.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you both? How long have you dated him?

[beautygirl]

Mid 20’s, he is actually 30. Been about 6 months.

[beautygirl]

mid 20’s, he is actually 30. Been about 6 months.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Thanks for the extra information. 😀

[quote]Am I wrong to think that is not right and he shouldn’t have treated me like this? [/quote]

No. You are not wrong.

[quote]Should I have expected him to meet me places or even pick me up and go place sometimes even tho i live in the country?[/quote]

Yes. If a guy wants to win you over, he’s going to go the extra mile to do so. It doesn’t sound like he wanted to.

[quote]Plus I never introduced to my parents, if he actually made more of an effort for me maybe I would have. Am I wrong to not introduce him??? [/quote]

Of course not! You’ve been dating him for six months, and you don’t really have any indication that you’re special to him. Introducing him to your parents under those circumstances would be wrong.

[quote]when he hasnt told me how he feels, are we even in a relationship and said me he is still single, and he referred to me as still single.[/quote]

I can’t tell, from your post, if he’s taken you out on a date or if you’ve just been meeting to hang out and have a friends with benefits situation. However, if after six months, he’s still referring to himself as single and not in a relationship, you should take the hint and move on. You’re wasting your time with him because he’s being pretty clear that he’s not that into you.

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url][/b]

[beautygirl]

Thanks for your reply.

It is over now and I am glad, but he has just left me so confused. because He acted so strange with me.. but he never seemed to think anything he said or did was weird so I am doubting myself. I wasn’t sure about him from the start, we were meeting once a week or so for about 3 months ( during that time we has kissed and he was quite touchy, arms around me etc) I knew he was going traveling in the summer but didnt no the date he was leaving, then I saw on facebook he had left….. not telling me and not saying goodbye, nothing!!! so anyway he spoke to me during the summer like twice, he came back, texted me that night and asked to meet right away, he seemed very keen to see me straight away.

aside from that, he wouldnt drive somewhere to meet me when i asked, but things were ok for about 2 weeks then he started making comments about other women, one in specific he meet and thought was pretty and how there was lots of attractive women about he should take the opportunity and other rude and disrespectful comments like that. (was he wanteding attention) Then the comments about still being single. Then he left at xmas for a month and barely communicated with me, no phonecalls/skype or anything!

Because of all of the above i never knew where i stood with him and I never how he felt about me, but he still acted interested which i found so confusing and hard to understand. He said to me he thought I was secretive, and he thought my friends didn’t know about him, (which they did) he never asked me did they know. I think he is a bit insecure. i said why do you think I am being secretive he said i took a of us and you wanted to delete it…that was because it was a bad photo, we took another one and we kept it! I guess if i was being secretive it was because of the way he acting and i didnt have any idea how he felt or where i stood.

I was so confused now and kinda blaming myself, DID I DO SOMETHING WRONG and thats why he acted the way he did and why he didnt want to make it into a proper relationship. is it coz I was ‘secretive’ and he thought my friends and Mum didnt know?
I was thinking did i not give him enough attention, when i ‘think’ i did. perhaps it was just his insecurity and needed to feel accepted and craving too much attention.

I am just worried that I did something wrong and I will mess any future relationships up, i havnt really been in a proper relationship before, so I dont know If he or I acted normal, or am I supposed to introduce him to my parents first, before we define a relationship?!!! Should I have introduced him to my parents or something? or invited him out with my friends one night? (he knew a few of my friends already) I don’t know what else I could have done!!!!
what is it him or me?!

[beautygirl]

By the way, he was saying all these things about other women, but then still showing interested in me. I ignored him for a while coz i was so annoyed with him and he kept texted me asking to meet up with me and acting like he hadn’t done anything wrong. and when I confronted him he just said Oh i was messing and don’t be silly.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

What went wrong is that you didn’t trust your instincts! You knew that what was happening didn’t feel right — which is why you wrote me. 😉 I have a feeling you already understand a lot of what happens in dating, but you ignored it — so I’ll try to explain a little to you here. If a guy doesn’t make an effort to date you, then you shouldn’t continue seeing him because you’re wasting your time with someone who’s not that into you. If in three months he didn’t once make an effort to pick you up for a date, he’s not that into you. If you knew that right off the bat, you wouldn’t have spent so much time investing in him. 😉 But now that you do, I’m quite sure you won’t do it again.

[quote]He acted so strange with me.. but he never seemed to think anything he said or did was weird so I am doubting myself.[/quote]

I’m not sure why his acting strange made you doubt yourself. If someone acts strange, you should doubt them! 😉 If he tells you he should start taking advantage of all the pretty women he’s meeting, then you should really take that as a sign that he’s not that into you, and if he goes away for a month at Christmas, and you don’t hear from him at all, you should consider that he’s not that into you.

[quote]Because of all of the above i never knew where i stood with him and I never how he felt about me, but he still acted interested which i found so confusing and hard to understand. [/quote]

The problem you’re having is that he was showing you were you stood with him but you were ignoring the signs. And I know you’re writing that he acted interested — which you found confusing, but from everything here, I’m not seeing anything that he did that really showed interested, or at least interest in monogamy. If you saw that, you wouldn’t feel confused, or wondered if you should have made more of an effort. Instead, you would have seen that he wasn’t that into you and you would have moved on a lot more quickly. 😉

[quote]and why he didnt want to make it into a proper relationship. is it coz I was ‘secretive’ and he thought my friends and Mum didnt know? I was thinking did i not give him enough attention, when i ‘think’ i did. perhaps it was just his insecurity and needed to feel accepted and craving too much attention.[/quote]

Sometimes someone isn’t your cup of tea — and sometimes you’re not someone else’s cup of tea. From what you’ve written, that’s what happened — only you didn’t recognize it was happening. I don’t think he rejected you because you were too secretive or that your friends and mother didn’t know about him — I really think he just wasn’t that into you.

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url][/b]

[beautygirl]

Yeah I get what your saying and I did know something wasnt right and I ignored it all. He did keep texting me to meet up but he wanted it all on his terms and wanted everything to suit him, proves he is a selfish immature man.

Most of the interest he did show was physical. He always told I was beautiful and looked great and I guess I liked that. He was so manipulative and was always all over me and clearly he wanted sex but not commitment ( I did have sex with him and I am so glad i didn’t go there now) I do believe he liked me in some way at the start anyway to show an interest wether it was a physical attraction or whatever.

Thanks for your replies and I am hoping next time I meet a nice who cares about me more!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re very welcome! 😀

[b]Everyone likes to be liked! If the advice you found on AskApril.com was helpful “like” us on FB — and tell a friend!
[url][/url][/b]

[Member]

Posts