[kaynae]

I was set up by a girlfriend with a single guy that she knew. From the first day we met, we have been inseparable. We immediately had a strong connection….something that I hadn’t had in a long time. We have great conversation, we laugh, we spend lots time together, we are very affectionate towards each other, the mental and physical connection was very strong. so we eventually started sleeping together. After a month of all this….I asked him a question. What would you say if someone asked you if you have a woman? His response was: “I would tell them that I’m talking to someone”. Should I take that as a sign that he is not interested in a relationship with me? and just sees me as something to do?

[tricia]

To the fact that the two of you are sleeping together and conduct this kind of thing, this simply means that you should not be just SOMEONE. You should really be pissed on on his answer as he let you feel that those romantic nights are just NOTHING to him. Wake up! his not worth it!!!!!

[AskApril Masini]

If your boyfriend of one month with whom you’re sleeping with says he would tell someone he has a woman he is talking to rather than a girlfriend, or that he has someone special in his life, I’d be insulted if I were you. Big time.

Either he doesn’t want anyone to know he’s with you to keep his options open, or he’s trying to make you feel badly about yourself. Both of which are rotten. I mean, even if he wants to keep his options open, he could have been a lot more tactful and told you that he’d tell anyone who asked if he has a woman that it’s none of their business or that’s private, or even a coy, maybe, would be better than what he actually said.

I’d see this as a big flashing yellow light, and proceed with caution.

[Ethan Morales]

that answer is a red flag. If after a month of closeness he says he’d tell people he’s “talking to someone” instead of owning you as his girlfriend, he’s keeping his options open deliberately. That phrasing isn’t romantic coyness; it’s distance dressed as ambiguity. Actions matter more than chemistry, and right now his words are signaling non-commitment.

You two clearly have something electric that’s obvious from how you describe it. But chemistry alone doesn’t equal commitment. People who want a relationship tend to step up and define it when things feel real. People who want options tend to hedge their language so they can back away without accountability. Don’t confuse his charm for proof he wants the same thing you do.

What to do next: be direct. You don’t need a speech just one clear question and one boundary. Ask him: “Do you want us to be exclusive?” If he says yes, ask what that looks like for him. If he hedges or repeats “I’m talking to someone,” call that out: “That sounds like you want to keep your options open. Is that true?” Don’t negotiate the definition in endless hypotheticals get a plain answer.

If he says he wants to keep it casual, decide if that’s okay for you. If you want a relationship, sleeping with him while hoping he’ll change is self-sabotage. If you’re fine with casual, be honest with yourself about the emotional cost and set rules you can live with. Either way, make sure his actions match his words for at least a few weeks before you invest more.

A few practical scripts you can use: “I like what we have, but I’m looking for something exclusive. Are you?” “When people ask, do you want me to say we’re dating or that we’re just seeing each other?” If he hedges: “That wording tells me you want options. I can’t be in a holding pattern pick one.”

Chemistry feels urgent; clarity prevents regret. You’ve felt the connection respect that by asking what it is instead of letting ambiguity do the work of breaking you down. If he values you, he’ll tell you plainly. If he doesn’t, you’ll know and can protect your heart.

[Natalie Noah]

His answer is a clear signal that he isn’t ready to commit or acknowledge you as a serious partner. Saying he’d tell someone he’s “talking to someone” instead of having a girlfriend shows he wants to keep things casual and maintain his options, which is disrespectful to you and the connection you’ve already built. Even early on, you deserve clarity and honesty about where he stands, and his response indicates he’s not valuing you in the way a partner should. This is a big warning sign that you need to protect your heart and proceed cautiously.

[Member]

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