We’ve been in an ambiguous relationship for the past three months or so. We’ve known each other as an aquaintance for two years, but last fall, started exchanging emails, which led to him asking to grab a meal together, then ever since, meeting up weekly/bi-weekly basis. I am really pleased that we’ve become friends because I liked the guy before we became friends, but I am still not sure where this friendship/relationship is going. For a while, I was dead sure he liked me, but the guy is increasingly sending me signals that I find discouraging, mainly about his lukewarm attitude to everything. For instance, even when we have something set, he will ask, “are you sure you want to meet up” or say, “we can do it sometime else if you’re busy.” First it seemed to be a considerate gesture, but he does this pretty much everytime, which drives me crazy. New years eve, we’ve stalled the entire day about what to do, that I finally invited myself over to his place for a potluck dinner. He thought it was a good idea, but again calls me at the last minute saying we don’t have to “do it if it’s too much” which nagged me to no end (WHY would I invite myself over if I didn’t want to come!?!?). Then when I did come over, he surprised/confused me with a nice candle-lit dinner. Now, did he really not want me to come over and is too nice/shy/passive-aggressive to break that to me?
So, I haven’t seen him for a week since New Years, and when I contacted him a couple days ago about hanging out, he said he has been extremely busy (which I believe), said he “might” have a day that’d work in the next week or two, but wasn’t sure.At this point, I thought this ambiguity/lukewarm attitude was a sure sign that he was trying to make things fizzle off without harsh feelings, since we do have to see each other in the future due to work reasons. So I gave him a way out by sending a polite but short reply that it’s fine if he’s busy, without making any attempts to set up any other future encounters. I was ready to move on. But then, he immediately got back asking if we can meet up again, apologizing for being unavailable, to which I haven’t responded. Question is, should I meet up–because if I do, I feel that I would be indulging him once more for no good reason, and if I refuse, I don’t know when I’ll see him again.
I’m still interested but need to know where we are going.., if only I knew where his ambiguity is coming from–from being shy, or even somehow or being not interested enough. So, is this guy is just ultra-inconfident/shy or playing with me? Word of advice? Thank you in advance for your feedback!!
