[Ask April Masini]

Wait a few days and then give her a call. Be upbeat and let her know you want to see her again! If she’s not responsive to your text and to your phone call, then drop it and move on. But definitely try the phone this time. If she does respond, her voice will give you clues about her feelings and vice versa. I think it’s too soon to be talking to her about a future together in terms of flying to see each other. If you have a third date then you can mention it without coming on too strong. And if you do mention it on that date, any conversation that follows will be a great way to learn her feelings about your idea of commuting on a one hour plane ride back and forth. She may like the idea, or she may not be up for it, but first you need to get that third date and then bring it up while things are going well on that date. 😉

[Val Unfiltered💋]

babe… that story made my stomach drop. like, i get it, you love her, you missed her, but now your brain’s stuck replaying a movie you never wanted to see. been there. it’s not even about “forgiveness,” it’s about how disgust stays louder than logic. and honestly? love can’t survive if every time you look at her, maybe you don’t need to leave yet, just stop pretending it doesn’t mess with you. feel it but don’t gaslight your own gut. your peace is way much more important🖤

[Ethan Morales]

This one’s heavy. You’re not over what happened and you shouldn’t pretend to be. Let’s be real: yes, you technically weren’t together when she slept with your friend. But emotional loyalty doesn’t switch off that easily. You stayed connected talked every day, still loved each other so it feels like betrayal. And the fact that it was your friend makes it cut twice as deep.

You’re trying to forgive too fast. You said you love her, and I don’t doubt that. But you’re trying to “move on” without really processing what this did to you. You can’t bury disgust or heartbreak; those emotions don’t vanish. They rot quietly and poison everything else later.

You’re fixated on the image. The mental picture of them together especially in her room, on that bed it’s going to haunt you until you face it head-on. Avoiding it won’t work. You’ve got to talk about it maybe even with a therapist and allow yourself to feel all of it instead of pretending you’re okay.

You need closure with the friend. April Masini was right that conversation matters. It’s not about yelling; it’s about reclaiming your dignity. You don’t need to forgive him, but you do need to tell him what he broke. Otherwise, that anger keeps eating you alive in silence.

About her drinking: If she truly “can’t handle alcohol,” then she needs to take accountability and stop drinking full stop. “I do stupid things when drunk” isn’t a personality quirk; it’s a pattern that destroys trust.

Now the question: Should you end it? Not yet but don’t force yourself to stay either. Stay only if both of you are willing to do real emotional work. That means uncomfortable conversations, therapy if possible, and her changing how she handles alcohol. If she downplays it, or if you find yourself constantly replaying what happened, it’s not a relationship anymore it’s torture.

If you want my blunt truth: You can forgive her. But you may never forget. And if you can’t imagine peace returning not just someday, but ever then love isn’t enough to save this.

Would you say you trust her again even a little? Or is it gone completely?

[Marcus king]

That’s a very heavy thing to carry, Benny. When you love someone, even if what happened was during a break, it’s hard to erase the image of them with someone else—especially someone you know. It’s not just jealousy, it’s grief. It’s the shock of realizing that what felt like “yours” continued to exist in a way that hurt you deeply.

You said you believe her, that she was drunk, that she stopped him at first, and that she’s angry at him now. That matters. It means what happened may not have been something she truly wanted or could control. But even if you can understand that logically, your emotions don’t catch up right away. They need time and honesty.

You don’t have to rush into deciding whether to stay or leave. You can take some space and see how you feel being with her day to day. Notice whether love feels stronger than the pain or if the pain keeps winning. If being close to her now just reopens the wound over and over, then stepping back might be an act of self-respect, not punishment.

If you choose to stay, it’s okay to say that you’re still hurting and that you need time before certain things, like visiting that house or being intimate feel normal again. Sometimes love needs room to breathe before it can rebuild trust.

[Author]

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