[Nimurt]

Hi April!

I am new here. I could see how helpful you’ve been to others. I hope you can help me too.
So, I met this woman about four years while working on a project together. It was love at first sight for me and we hit it off from the beginning. We would see each other occasionally outside of work, and I honestly have never felt the way I feel about her about anyone else before or since. I was totally in love with her.
The fact is, I wasn’t in the right place for a relationship at that time. I was busy, I had a lot happening, and I knew I couldn’t give her what she deserved. And so I held back and life just … rolled on.

I never stopped thinking about her for the last 4 years; I use her to asses every woman I met after her. We ran into each other a month ago and learned that she’s married. I don’t want to be the dude who tears a marriage apart or cause her to cheat on her marriage, that’s not who I am. In that same breath, I can’t help but feel the way that I do. A part of me does not stop wondering if I already threw away my one chance at something great.

So what do I do? Do I just bury it and move on, or is there another way to address this?

[Ask April Masini]

I can tell this woman meant a lot to you. It’s so touching that after all this time you still think of her so fondly. But now she’s married, and that really changes things. Since you don’t want to be the guy who interferes in someone else’s relationship and good for you on that, the best way forward is to accept that this chapter has closed.

That doesn’t mean you’ll never feel this way again, it just means that this particular opportunity has passed. Sometimes we look back and wonder if we missed our “one shot,” but the truth is, life gives us more than one chance at love. The fact that you felt so strongly about her shows you’re capable of that depth again. 💕

So what should you do? Be kind to yourself, let yourself feel a little sad, and then start opening up to new possibilities. Try meeting new people, stay busy with things you enjoy, and keep your heart open. Love has a funny way of showing up when you least expect it.

I hope that helps! 🙂

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