[wendy12345]

My bf and I have been dating for a year. I am 32 and he is 31. We really enjoyed being with each other in the past year. I would like to settle down and have kids soon because my biological clock is ticking. But after almost a year of dating, he does not seem to ever bring up the talk about our future. About two months ago, I brought the talk.
First I talked about if his goal is go get married and have kids.
He answered positively, sure, I would love to settle down and have kids, there is not doubts about it.
But nothing happened. I tried to pull away from him by keeping myself busy, focus on my own things and making my own plans without him, like all the other relationship guide suggest. And he pulls away too.

Then we had a second talk, I stated very honestly that I love him and would like to settle down soon.
Then he told me he is scared of marriage due to his parents’ divorce. and told me he does not know what to do.
I do not understand why he wants to get married and scared of marriage at the same time.

But he still calls me, says he love me all the time, take me out to dinner. ask me to hang out with him out of town. I would love to do all those things with him but I am at this point very busy. I need to graduate, finish my thesis, and find a job within the next three months. I just do not have much time to hang out with him.

I week ago, I told him the last time that please me your decision soon, we either get married or break up because I will have to move to another city in three months. (I can not find a permanent job in my current city. I can find part time jobs and I have been financially responsible, no debts, etc.) I need a permanent job to stay in this country.
I also emailed him as the following

“Thank you for communicating your feelings with me last week and thanks for taking steps to work on it. I appreciate it and I am working the same on my side. I just want to be cherished and be accepted as I am. I wish I could be settled down, enjoy life with my other half and taking care of each other. I have been working really hard on it since I met you. At this point of my life, there are so many uncertainties. Would you please be open and complete honest to me and let me know do you think our relationship will work? Are you confident with it? or you still have a lots of doubts about it? And what are those doubts? ”

He did not respond my email.

Than I asked him directly, he said sorry I forgot to respond your email. I do not think I have any doubts. But I have not take you to meet my parents yet. I want to you to meet my parents before I can decide.

Ok, talking about meeting his parents. His mom and dad are living in two different states. He never invited me to meet his mom in the last year. He did asked me to visit his dad and stepmom’s family last christmas but it ended up I am not allowed to go, according to him: he told me his stepmom was having knee surgery last christmas and his dad did not want me to visit.
I accepted that at that time.
And he told me this christmas, his stepmom is going to have another knee surgery and probably I am not allowed to visit them again. And I said:” did you ask?” Then he answered:” I have so many things going on before christmas, five different trips planned, I can not plan very far” (he is supposed to visit Nepal in two weeks, and he planned that trip a year ahead!)

At this point, I am really confused, he told me different reasons (or excuses) about not planning for the future. I am not sure if I should wait and see? As I mentioned before, I have really tight schedule between school, teaching, apply for jobs, and apply for immigration visa. I do not know if I need to invest more time on this relationship, although I enjoy spending time with him. And I will have to move to another state at the end of this year and I do not believe in long distance relationship.

And what if I do meet his parents during christmas, will his reason for not settling down change to something else?

Please give me some advice on how to deal with this or what should I do to find out what he really is thinking. Thanks.

[wendy12345]

forgot to mention: He finally planned me to meet him mom next week in DC. He has a conference there. But unfortunately, the flight is cancelled due to the hurricane. When I told him this morning, the flight is cancelled. He just said: I am sorry to hear about it. I wanted you to visit DC.
That is it.
Then it is me spending the whole morning trying to find alternatives, other possible planes, paying rescheduling fees, etc.

[AskApril Masini]

Seriously? You don’t know what to do? 😯

If after a year of dating, at your ages, you have to TELL HIM you want to be cherished, 😮 you’re already in the wrong relationship. In fact, you should NEVER have “the talk” — let alone do it more than once. 😳 And when you then spell out that you want to be married (which you should never ever do) or move on, and[i] he doesn’t even respond to your e-mail [/i]…. you’re seriously in denial. 🙁

The answer to your title question, Should I keep waiting?, is NO!

I want you to IMMEDIATELY buy the book I wrote for women who want to find, get and keep Mr. Right, called Think & Date Like A Man. Here’s the link where you can download it immediately: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. This book will help you immensely. In fact, I know that if you follow the tips and advice in this book, you WILL find Mr. Right and be married.

Get it. Read it. While you’re reading it, break up with the guy you’re dating — he’s not going to marry you, so stop wasting your time and keeping yourself off of the dating market for guys who may be your real Mr. Right. And when you’re done reading, let me know how you’re going to change your behavior so you don’t waste time with guys who aren’t on the same page you are when it comes to relationships. 😉

Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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