[Nicky]

Hi April,

I joined an online dating site and have been enjoying daily communications with a guy for one week via the site’s email. I would really like to communicate with him over the phone. This dating site has a secure call feature and either of won’t know the others’ number. In the past whenever I make the first move (even if the guy shows a LOT of interest) he runs the other way.

Question: should I hazard to suggest we take it to the next level and speak over the phone? I don’t want to lose momentum, or even worse have him running for the hills. I REALLY like him! Please help me love GURU!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[i]Never[/i] make the first move. And you’ve got the proof of guys running the other way when you do. 😉 When [b]the guy[/b] makes the first move, then you know that he’s interested enough to do so. 🙂 If he doesn’t, then find someone who does. The beauty of waiting for a guy to make the first move is that you find out exactly how interested in you he is. 😉 The worst thing that happens to women is that they chase a guy and invest months (or years) making the relationship happen, only to find that he’s not interested enough to take the relationship further — because he was never that interested in the first place. So, I know you’re excited about someone, but date smart and wait to see if he moves the relationship further along. 😀

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Nicky]

Thank you! While I waited for a response my online friend and I spent about an hour emailing then HE initiated the request for a phone conversation and we spoke for an hour and a half last night! Not sure about one thing, he is very open about his past says he hasn’t had a relationship that lasted for more than two months, and not a serious one for over nine years. He says he’s not a loner, when I asked; just that that’s the way things have worked out. How should I take this? I know he had family issues growing up, being left out, etc.

I’m new to “dating” always rushed into immediate relationship after the first date, so I’m going in blind. He seems quite interested in me, but I am proceeding with caution. How should I treat this, is he the type that might commit? Thank you for your advice!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m not sure how old you both are, but if he hasn’t had a relationship in nine years that lasted more than two months, you should have your flashing yellow light on and play the field so you don’t commit to someone who may not be able to commit to you. Get to know him and figure out if this is someone who’s going to be around for more than eight weeks if you date him. 😉

I hope this helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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