[sadied]

My boyfriend and I, was going for 8 1/2 years we had our ups and downs, but what relationship doesn’t. When we had our son he finally realized that he wasn’t happy and wanted to leave the relationship. I didn’t stop him because I’m not going to force anyone to be with me. And deep down, I knew I wasn’t happy either. We’ve managed to stay friends (I think we were better off as friends).

18 months later we took a trip together and on this trip we began reminiscing about the past -one thing led to the other and we slept together. After this, we both realized that the feelings were still there and we wanted to give our relationship another chance. He wants us to get married and be a family. He said he can

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You already know the answer to your question…. You said, “I need to feel that all of my questions have been answered truthfully. If its not, it will only create lingering suspicions, making it difficult to move ahead. I need him to recognize, understand and acknowledge what I

[Jane]

It’s so baffling to me how women STILL don’t trust their god given intuition! If it doesn’t feel right, it’s wrong!!! Just as April said, tell him where you’re at and watch what he does, then listen to your gut, it never lies (unlike from the sounds of it, this guy does!) If you don’t get a “yes” feeling, then cut your losses and move on. You’ll be better off and much more clear on paying attention to the signals that you’re getting from a man. 🙄

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you.

[Ethan Morales]

Exactly, your instincts are right. You already identified the core issue yourself: before moving forward, you need full clarity and honesty. If there are lingering doubts or unanswered questions, jumping back in could create ongoing mistrust and anxiety.

Standing by your demand isn’t being controlling or unreasonable it’s about protecting your emotional well-being. You’re asking for transparency, accountability, and reassurance so that if you do commit again, it’s with confidence rather than uncertainty.

The key is to communicate this calmly and clearly to him: that you want to rebuild the relationship on a foundation of honesty, openness, and mutual understanding. If he’s serious about marrying you and building a family, he should be willing to answer your questions fully.

Would you like me to suggest a way to frame this conversation so he understands it without feeling attacked?

[PassionSeeker]

It sounds like both of you have been through a lot together years of love, growth, and also pain. Sometimes when two people share that kind of history, the connection never fully disappears, even when the relationship ends. It’s understandable that revisiting those memories stirred old feelings. But right now, what you’re feeling isn’t just about love it’s about trust.

You’ve already said the most important thing: you can’t move forward until every question has been answered honestly. That’s not control; that’s emotional safety. Love without clarity becomes anxiety, and marriage built on doubt will only repeat old wounds.

If he truly wants to build a future with you, he’ll meet you in truth, not defensiveness. Let him know that you want honesty not to argue, but to heal so you can both start fresh, with nothing hidden.

Take your time. Sometimes love deserves a second chance, but only when both hearts are ready to tell the whole truth.

[Marcus king]

Alright. Here’s the thing you two didn’t end things for no reason. You both left because something in that relationship wasn’t working. Having a child, history, and old feelings can make it feel right to try again, but love without real change just leads back to the same place.

Before you decide to get back together, ask yourself what’s actually different now. Not emotionally, but practically. Has he grown? Have you? Are you both willing to communicate better, handle conflict differently, and actually work through what broke you apart the first time? Because if neither of you changed, you’ll just replay the same story with the same ending.

You also need to be clear on why you want to get back together. Is it because you truly love him and see a future, or because the history feels safe and familiar? There’s a big difference between love and attachment, and confusing the two can trap you in old patterns.

If you really want to give this another shot, have a direct, grown conversation. Talk honestly about what went wrong, what needs to change, and what both of you are willing to do differently. Getting back together can work but only if you both rebuild it intentionally, not emotionally.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

oh babe… 8½ years, a baby, a breakup and a reunion? that’s not a love story😏 nostalgia’s a liar. it makes old pain look romantic. sure, he’s talking rings now, but words are cheap when they’re dipped in guilt and memories. love deserves more than a sequel built on “maybe it’s different this time.” make him prove it,not with promises, but with consistency. otherwise, it’s just reruns, babe. 💅🏼💔

[Sally]

Eight years, a child together, all that history… it doesn’t just disappear. And sleeping together on that trip probably woke up feelings you both tried to pack away.

But here’s the thing I keep coming back to: people don’t change just because they miss you. They change because they do the work. And right now, it sounds like he wants you to slip back into the old life without really talking about what broke it the first time.

Your “demand”whatever it was came from a place where you finally understood what you needed. Don’t throw that away because the moment feels warm and nostalgic.

If he’s serious about building a family again, he won’t be scared of slowing down and actually earning his way back. End this softly but firmly.

[Natalie Noah]

what I hear in your story is a woman who wants to believe in the beautiful possibility of a family being rebuilt but who also feels that knot in her chest, the one that whispers, “Not unless this time is different.” You’re not asking for perfection; you’re asking for honesty, clarity, and accountability, because without those things, the old cracks will just reopen in the same places. When a relationship breaks after 8½ years especially after a child it never breaks for just one reason. And if he’s asking you to marry him now, then the words need to be matched with the work. You’re absolutely right: if your questions aren’t answered truthfully, if he can’t openly acknowledge what went wrong and what needs to change, then the future won’t feel safe enough for you to rest in. Your heart can’t rebuild on half-answers or avoided conversations it needs transparency, commitment, and emotional responsibility from him. And you deserve nothing less before you step back into something so big.

[Serena Vale]

What you’re feeling makes so much sense. When two people share that many years together, and a child, there’s always going to be a connection. Even when things end, the love doesn’t always disappear, sometimes it just gets pushed down by stress, routine, and everything life throws at you.

Being on that trip together probably reminded both of you of who you were before things got complicated. And when feelings come back in a moment like that, it usually means they were never really gone. You didn’t force anything, and neither did he. It just happened naturally, and that says something real.

But now that he’s talking about marriage and being a family again, it’s okay to slow down and breathe. You don’t have to give him an answer overnight. What matters is how you feel now, not just what happened in the past. Ask yourself if being around him feels calm and safe, or if it brings back old heaviness. Ask yourself if both of you have grown since the relationship ended, or if you’re slipping back into something that once hurt you both.

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to explore these feelings again. Sometimes people really do find their way back to each other in a healthier way. But it’s also okay to take your time and make sure it feels steady, not rushed or pressured. Talk to him honestly about what scared you before, what you need now, and what you want your future to look like.

If it starts to feel good and natural and peaceful, then maybe this really is your second chance. Just move gently. Your heart deserves care, not urgency.

[Member]

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