[AdalieM113]

My boyfriend and I have been together for five years and have lived together for four. In December we went and looked at engagement rings (his idea). It is now May and he still has not asked me to marry him. We have talked a few times about marriage since then and he has told me that he thought he was ready to get married, but he doesn’t think he is anymore and that it probably won’t happen anytime soon. He knows that marriage is something that is really important to me. I have told him that if he thinks he will never want to marry me he should tell me so I can find someone who wants the same things I do. He keeps saying not soon, but maybe someday. I’m unsure of what I should do. I feel like he should know by now whether or not I am who he wants to spend his life with. I love him and I don’t want to break up with him, but at the same time marriage is something I really want. Should I stay and hope he decides he wants to marry me or leave and hope I find someone who does want to marry me?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You should move on.

The reason is that you want to get married. You’ve been together for five years — you’ve lived together for four years — and he’s been very clear with you that he’s not ready. Looking at rings, and then telling you he’s not ready is your cue to exit.

I know you love him, and we all love lots of people — but just because you love each other doesn’t mean he’s going to marry you, and you have to take care of yourself on this one.

I know it’s hard, but you need to leave. 😳

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