[iaj32]

Hi April…I need some advice on a situation I’m dealing with right now.

A few months ago I met this guy and we really hit it off. We had a ton of stuff in common, got along great and had a lot of fun together. Neither of us wanted anything serious and just wanted to keep things casual. After a while, we started sleeping together and things gradually turned into a physical relationship. Which was fine at first and totally worked for me too, but now I can’t help but feel like I’m being manipulated. He flakes out on plans constantly and will only meet up if it’s convenient for him. He’ll text me and then never respond to my replies. His excuse is always that he fell asleep, no matter what time of day it is. Perhaps some of this is due to immaturity (I’m 24 and he’s 21) but I feel like instead of seeing me as an equal, he sees me as someone who he can manipulate and that bothers me. Hes always so nice and very sweet but I can’t help but think part of that is used to manipulate others. On top of this, I feel like he’s sleeping with other women and that puts me at risk for contracting all kinds of infections.

Should I discuss my concerns with him or should I just let it go and ignore him? I do like him but I don’t like to feel like someone’s making a fool of me.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I don’t recommend talking to him about his behavior because:

1) He’s made it pretty clear that he’s not [i]that[/i] interested in you. If he was, he wouldn’t flake on you. If he was interested in you he wouldn’t just “meet up” when it’s convenient for him — he’d try to impress you. And if he was interested in you, he would respond to your texts.

2) If you have a talk with him it’s basically going to be you complaining and trying to get him to change. This isn’t a good dynamic for a romantic relationship.

3) Men hate “the talk”. It’s rarely effective, and you’ve only been dating a short time — you’re getting to know he is and it seems like you’re not liking some of who he is. You get to decide whether or not to continue dating him.

Bottom line: My advice is that your realize that this isn’t someone who’s worth investing your time in and find someone who is. 😉

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