[RadicalUprise]

I am a 17 year old girl, and I have been in a relationship with another girl for almost a month now. We met through friends at school, and hit it off immediately. We were talking for about a month before we started dating, but after we started dating things just seemed to slow down. When we were just friends we had the best chemistry, things just clicked. We could talk for hours and hours about anything. Now that we’re dating we can barely even hold a conversation, and it’s killing me. She warned me before we had began dating that she was very busy with work, school and sports. Obviously I didn’t expect for us to always be able to talk, but now it’s gotten to where we only text each other a few times a day, and we can’t even see each other on weekends. So my question is, should I invest in the relationship and give it time to work, or am I wasting my time? She is pretty much the girl of my dreams. She’s gorgeous, sweet, funny, smart, athletic, and artistic. Pretty much perfect, so I’m kind of at a loss for what to do.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you’re getting to know her, and over the course of the month since you met her, things have slowed down considerably. You’ve described her as the girl of your dreams, but you only describe attributes that have to do with her alone — not her in a relationship. Someone can be gorgeous and brilliant and athletic and artistic — but you don’t click with them and there is no shared intimacy or communication — that makes the gorgeous, brilliant, athletic, artistic person incompatible with you. The trick to finding someone special is finding someone with whom you can communicate, have fun and share goals with. I think that this woman you’re describing is someone who “looks good on paper” but in real life isn’t such a great match for you. Since it’s only been a month, you can see how things play out, but my instinct is that this is going to fizzle out because she’s more of a fantasy than a real relationship for you.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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