[Sucker1086]

I’m 25, have a career as a nurse and in a 2 month relationship. My last relationship lasted 8 years and ended because I grew up and my life went a different direction. Ok so, I’ve been trying to get my own place since last year. My best friend (girl) and I made plans to move out since last year and got killed when my gf disagreed with my plans. I was offered a room to rent at a super cheap price but it’s with a chick. I told my gf my plans now and she’s upset but tells me to do what I want. I feel bad, I care about how she feels. But I need I move out. And now I’m having trouble with which do and put more value on, her feelings or mine? We’ve discussed how I am not ready to plan my life around someone but she tells me she’s been planning her around me? How should consider her feelings?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

First of all, it’s going to be normal for anyone you’re dating to be put off because you live with a woman — even if it’s just a platonic roommate. So if you do decide to move in with this woman, expect problems in your love life — regardless of who you’re dating. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do it, but consider your options.

Second, you’ve only been dating this woman for two months, so for her to tell you she’s living her life and making her life decisions around you, is jumping the gun on her part, and putting pressure on you.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Sucker1086]

So yesterday I worked 11-7a shift. After work, I went to her place about 8a and stayed up and helped her with her class work til I fell asleep at 10a. I woke up at 4p and took her to class. I went back to her place and fell asleep til she got home at 1130p. We fell asleep about 1230 til she got up and left for work at 600a. The reason I’m telling this whole story is because she told me that she feels I don’t spend enough time with her. To continue, after she left I went to my place did my errands til I hung out with my friends about 300. So I dunno?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m not sure what it is you don’t know…. ❓

Do you have a question for me? 🙂

[Sucker1086]

Is she right about how much time I spend with her? I feel I should be with her when I want to because I want to not cuz I have to. But is she right?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote] The reason I’m telling this whole story is because she told me that she feels I don’t spend enough time with her.[/quote]

It’s not a question of who’s right. It’s really a question of compatibility. In her mind, you don’t spend enough time with her. In your mind, clearly, you do. You may find a woman who’s fine if she sees you once a week because you’re working — she’s understanding and thinks that the one day a week you do spend together is enough to build a life together on. Another woman may need to check in with you several times a day and see you at least once a day. None of these situations are wrong. They’re just different.

If you feel like the time you spend with her has become a burden to you, then you’re going to be angry and frustrated and eventually you’ll act out with her as the object of your anger — unless you deal with the problem up front. If she’s not willing to budge and you’re not willing to budge there isn’t much room for compatibility.

My advice is that if you want to be with her, to offer up some compromise situations. For instance, you can offer to spend a weekend with her, but not see her during the week. Or you can offer to see her twice during the week, but not on the weekend. That’s just for starters — I’m sure the two of you can come up with other ideas like this.

I hope this helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[Sucker1086]

So we have worked out the previous issues and have been good for sometime, but I’ve come to the realization she’s is more in love with than I am her. I do miss her and think of her but I know I am all she thinks about. If she could all she would do is take care of me. I feel as though it is unfair for me to not feel as she does? Is it wrong?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s not abnormal for you to feel differently about each other. The question that makes or breaks things is about HOW differently you feel. In other words, are you compatible. If she’s super needy and you’re perfectly happy seeing her once a month, there are going to be problems.

If this discrepancy isn’t a problem for her, and you’re simply feeling guilty that you don’t return her feelings, my advice is to relax. If everything else is going well, and your guilt is the only problem, focus on that, not the relationship. 😉

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url]: [/url]. 🙂

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