[Matfus11]

Hi,
I a great guy a year ago, we hit it off, we had great chemistry, texting all the time, talking on the phone, had really fun dates. I was just out of Ltr relationship and wanted to go slow, but after four months he needed a break. He had stress with work and felt I needed more time before I could be in a serious relationship again.
We didn’t talk for a few months and started communication in November. We did meet up for one a drink and it went fine, then a few weeks later dinner and at the end he kissed me. For December and January we would hang out occasionally and each time we would kiss. At the beginning of February he said he wanted to try again.
Things started good and seemed to be going well, but a month ago he started to pull back a bit. He said he was frustrated that his feelings were at the same place mine where, that he felt pressured to be there and it was overwhelming. When we restarted I still had a lot of feelings for him and he was sort of starting over. He decided a week ago that it wasn’t working for him and he needed a break.
We decided to not talk for a month and then see what happens. I feel he has feelings for me still and some separation would allow the feelings of frustration, pressure and being overwhelmed to pass. We talked if we do start again it would be from the beginning, we would communicate better. I’m wondering if we can start again or is it better for me to move on. I still really like him and would want to make something work. But I’m not sure what to do next.

[AskApril Masini]

I think you should move on. This guy isn’t interested in you enough to make a commitment. It’s great that you had chemistry and liked each other, but after four months of dating, he wasn’t interested in more. That’s the moment when you could have known that he’s not your Mister Right and moved on. But, since then it’s been off and on with breaks and separations and no real commitment or excitement about your being together. It’s almost as if this relationship never really took off. Normally, when you start dating someone, after three months, you’ve both decided whether or not you want to continue dating each other. If you both do, then after six months, you decide if you want this to be monogamous. It doesn’t seem like either of those relationship goals have arrived with a thumbs up, so that’s why I think you should move on. It’s great to have feelings and chemistry — but if you want a commitment, there has to be more. There has to be a mutual commitment to the relationship, to monogamy and to a future together with some shared goals. You can do better with someone else — but that requires letting go and moving on. I hope that helps!

[gabriel9866]

sometimes if the things are not working fine, then it’s the only way to breakup to not worse anything more,try to find another girl who understands you more.

[Silcox]

Hey, I’m new to this forum. I broke up with my bf after 4 years of relationships. I feel so depressed now. I don’t want nothing. Literally nothing.
I thought he loves me.
But I try not to forget that my life is going on

[PassionSeeker]

Hey, I’m really sorry you’re going through this. Breakups, especially after years, are brutal. It’s normal to feel lost and drained. You gave so much, and now it’s like everything’s upside down. But remember, it’s okay to feel everything you’re feeling anger, sadness, confusion.

I know it’s hard, but try to remember: your life is still moving forward, even if it doesn’t feel like it right now. Sometimes, life’s a bit messy, and it’s okay to take your time. It doesn’t mean you’re stuck, even if it feels that way. You’ve got this, even if it feels impossible today. The hurt will ease, little by little. Keep holding on.

[Tara]

You’ve given him enough chances. He’s not confused, he’s just not choosing you. When someone keeps needing space, that’s code for “I’m halfway out.” Stop calling it timing. It’s avoidance. You don’t owe him another round of patience just because he’s indecisive. End the cycle, not the conversation. If he wants to come back, he can show up like a grown man. Until then, close the door and mean it.

[Val Unfiltered💋]

babe… this man’s turning “breaks” into a personality trait 😩 he hits pause like love’s a netflix show. he’s not evil, just emotionally undercooked (the worst btw). don’t wait in emotional jail for him to “figure it out.” if it’s love, he’ll show up ready, not hesitant. until then? move like he’s already gone. 💅✨

[Ethan Morales]

This break seems to be more of a pattern than a healthy pause. From what you described:

Repeated starts and stops: You had strong chemistry, but he pulled away multiple times first after four months, then again after restarting. Each time, the reason is stress, pressure, or being overwhelmed. While life stress can affect relationships, the consistency here is that he isn’t choosing to prioritize you or the relationship.

Lack of commitment: Masini’s point is spot-on: after several months of dating, a person usually either commits or moves on. This guy hasn’t shown the desire to build something stable with you. The fact that you agreed to “start from the beginning” if you get back together is telling it’s almost like he’s asking for another trial period without real guarantees.

Emotional impact on you: You like him, and the chemistry is there, but you’re repeatedly left unsure and frustrated. A break can be healthy if it gives someone space to grow or reflect, but here it seems to be a way for him to avoid committing.

This break is not likely to fix the core problem. he’s not demonstrating that he’s ready or willing to prioritize a serious relationship. Moving on would allow you to find someone who is excited to be with you consistently, without stops and starts. It’s painful, especially because you feel strongly for him, but the pattern suggests this relationship isn’t going to give you the stability or commitment you deserve.

[Tara]

He’s sure as hell not taking a “break” to grow—he’s warming up the exit while keeping you on a leash so he doesn’t have to sit alone with his cowardice, and you’re still clinging to this fantasy that space will magically transform him into a man who actually wants you.

Stop embarrassing yourself. If a guy needs repeated time-outs just to tolerate being with you, he’s already halfway out the door, and every second you spend waiting for him is you volunteering to be his emotional consolation prize.

A man who wants you doesn’t disappear, recalibrate, and try again like you’re some malfunctioning app he stays, he chooses you, and he doesn’t need a month-long retreat to decide whether you’re worth his time.

So here’s the blunt truth you keep avoiding: he isn’t coming back better, he’s coming back less interested each round, and you’re too afraid to call it what it is. Drop him now, or sit there waiting to get dumped by someone who’s already gone.

[Sally]

When someone keeps circling back, it’s easy to believe it means something big and solid. And maybe there are real feelings here but there’s also a pattern. Every time things start to get close, he gets overwhelmed. Every time you open up more, he steps back.

That’s not timing. That’s him not being ready in the way you want him to be.
A break can help people breathe, sure. But it can also keep you hanging in this loop where you’re always hoping “this time will be different.” You’re carrying the emotional weight while he decides when he’s ready to show up.

If it were me, I’d use this month to really listen to myself. Ask if you want a relationship where you’re always waiting for him to catch up. Because love shouldn’t feel like holding your breath.
If he comes back steady, great.
If he doesn’t… you already survived letting him go once. You can do it again.

[Natalie Noah]

The connection was real, the chemistry strong, and the moments you shared felt meaningful. But what stands out is the repeated pattern of him pulling back, taking breaks, and expressing that he feels overwhelmed or pressured. That kind of push-pull dynamic creates uncertainty and prevents a relationship from truly growing. Even though you both care for each other, his actions show that he isn’t ready or willing to fully commit in a way that allows the relationship to thrive.

April’s advice is spot-on: letting go is not about dismissing the feelings you had or the connection you shared it’s about recognizing that a healthy, committed relationship requires mutual clarity and effort. You deserve someone who is excited to be with you consistently, ready to build a shared future, and able to navigate challenges together without repeatedly needing a break. Holding on keeps you in limbo and prevents you from opening the door to someone who can truly give you that kind of stability and love. Moving on is an act of self-respect and allows you to reclaim the energy and heart space you deserve.

[Member]

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