[dlc32]

Hi April,
I have been really good friends with a guy for 5 years now and from the beginning it has been sexual. We hang out at my place and he of course sleeps over several times a week, we do go out to movies and dinner at times and would possibly more but I have children so I cant go out alot. I am in love with him and want more than a friendship/sex and although I can tell he cares alot for me and he has told me he loves me he still does not want to be in a committed relationship with me. I am just so confused about what I should do. He has told me things like if there was anyone he would be in a relationship with it would be me, that I would be a great wife ect. He does do alot for me financially and works on my car ect and other than commitment its like a relationship. what confuses me is that he hangs out with other girls but says he does not have sex with them, but he has stayed over at thier houses and vise versa, takes them out and after one argument we had(which is not many only 3 in 5yrs) which actually started bc he was jealous over me having another guy over he made a comment that there have been girls he has wanted to talk to but has not because he didnt want to hurt me. That comment just eats at me and its been 6 month. I’m like if you love me and i would make a great wife ect, but you just wanna be single rite now why would he want to talk to another woman thats something you do to see if it leads to a relationship and obvoiusly he has no problem with having female friends. Another thing that bothers me is how I have never met any of his friends, but a couple of his other female friends have and have even become part of his little circle of friends that hang out together. Should I just ditch the friendship all together or is there a way to actually change it? I want to find love and a relationship and I think the way I feel about him keeps me from finding it with someone else.. Thanks for your help..

[AugustLove]

If you had a daughter that was going through the same thing then what advise would you give her? Then do that.. If my daughter, whom I love w/all my heart had a guy that wasn’t giving the best of himself to my deserving daughter, then I would tell her to move on and open herself to find someone else who does and will love her and take care of her cause she’s worth it.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I like [b]AugustLove’s[/b] advice.

Bottom line is decide what you want and then go for it. If you want a husband, or a long-term committed relationship that is more than just friends with benefits (which is really what you have), then you have to decide that that’s what you’re going to do at all costs. After five years, it’s pretty clear he’s not going to do more than he has been doing because that’s how you set things up. 😕

I hope you’ll read Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], a book I wrote for women who want to find, get and keep Mr. Right, because it’s going to help you A LOT! Among other things, you’ll learn that if you want a man to treat you like a prize he’s won, then you have to be the prize and make him win you over. When you set up a friends with benefits relationship, you’ve become the booby prize, not the blue ribbon prize.

So if you want more than what you have, it’s time to move on, otherwise, expect more of the same. He’s not going to change if things remain status quo.

I hope that helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

[Member]

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