[annie45]

Ive been dating a man for 20 months, we are both in our 40s and work full time, i also have an illness that makes life a challange at times, i live with my family as i sometimes need help with moving about. My boyfriend has his own 1 bed house. We only see each other at weekends as he is too tired in the week but he does call me every day, he is very attentive when we are together and listens properly as he showed when he produced tickets to the ballet for my birthday( i had said 4 months ago that i would like to see a ballet). He works hard and i appreciate that he is tired but to be going to bed by 9 at the latest is a bit to early for me. We have discussed living together but he says his house is too small ( he lived there with an ex) and we need to sell and buy bigger which is ok but he doesnt want to think about doing that till next June, I have met his parents and some of his friends but we generally spend our tome together and he sees his family and friends other times. I feel that things are ok as long as it is on his terms and i dont know what to do now. Do i hang in there and hope that things change sooner or get out now. ❓

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you’re not sure if he’s going to marry you or not, and if so, if it’s on a time schedule that works for you. The fact that he’s tired by 9 p.m. seems more like a gripe than a real relationship problem. In fact, I think you, like many other women, are wondering if he’s diamond-ring serious, and if so, when is that going to happen. You are not alone.

So that you don’t feel like you’re victimized by his time schedule, give yourself a time frame in which you’ll stay, and at which point you’ll decide this isn’t working for you and it’s time for you to move on and find someone who’s more compatible in terms of the commitment you’re looking for.

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