[kaydee88]

Hi April,

I admire your advices and I think you’re the best person who can help me decide on what to do with my situation right now.

I met this guy a month ago and I really liked him when we first met but when we started flirting and calling each other for how many days, I found out he has a girlfriend. I asked him about it and he did not deny it in any way but the fact that he has a girlfriend bothered me a lot. Nevertheless, I think I was too stubborn to stop right away because I liked him too much and I still continued seeing him. He told me a lot of times that he really likes me but I don’t know if he really does.

The most disturbing thing happened just two days ago, we got out of control and started making out for the first time. I wasn’t proud of what we did but a part of me wanted it even though I knew it was wrong. But after much deliberation and self-assessment, I realized that the most rational and intelligent thing to do is stop what we are having because I am not his backup girl and I know what it feels like to be cheated on so I don’t want to ruin the relationship he has with his current girlfriend. So my plan is to send him a message to let him decide on who he really wants. If he chooses me, then he has to be with me and breakup with his girl, but if he can’t do it and wants to stay together with his girlfriend, I will respect that and just tell him to move on as I will be moving on too. Problem is, I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do. I don’t know if letting him choose between me and his girl is right or not. Please help me decide on what to tell him before I make the biggest mistake of my life.

I really really like him but I’m willing to let go if I have to. I hope to hear from you soon.

Thank you,
Kaydee

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Thank you for your kind words! I appreciate that, and am glad you like my advice. 😀

In your present situation it is a mistake to give him an ultimatum and tell him he has to decide between you and his girlfriend. Mistake!! 😮 The truth is he doesn’t have to choose at all, unless you make it clear by your actions that you’re only available to him if he’s truly single. Don’t tell him what he already knows — you’ll come off as controlling (without having any real control). Instead, decide if you want to compete for him! 😎

It’s entirely fair to compete for his attention, but understand that that’s what you’re doing. A man who isn’t available, won’t be interested. A man who is available will take the bait — if he wants it. You should read Think & Date Like A Man, that you can download here: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. This book will give you ALL the tips for getting the guy. It’s actually written for situations just like the one you’re in now. You’ll get all the tips and tricks to make him yours — if he’s yours for the taking. I hope you’ll read it. I really think it will help you a lot. 🙂

I hope that helps — let me know how it goes. And join me on Facebook! Here’s that link: [url][/url]. 🙂

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