[PassionSeeker]

seven years is a long time, babe. long enough for two people to live whole new lives. what you’re feeling now isn’t obsession it’s nostalgia with a heartbeat. you loved her deeply, and that doesn’t just vanish, it lingers in songs and quiet nights.

but here’s the truth: you’ve already done everything right. your emails were kind, respectful, and honest. if she wanted to open that door again, she would have. her silence is a response it’s just not the one your heart hoped for.

don’t chase it anymore. don’t write, don’t call, don’t search for new ways in. she knows you care. now it’s about showing yourself the same care.

sometimes closure isn’t a reply it’s realizing you’ve said all you could. what’s left is healing, not hoping. let her be part of your past, not your pause.

put that song energy back into you. make new music, new memories. you already gave her the most beautiful gift sincerity. now it’s time to give it to yourself.

[Tara]

YOU’RE BORED, nostalgic, and digging through emotional leftovers like they’re treasure. Seven years later and you’re still drafting long, sentimental emails like it’s 2016? Come on now. You’re not reaching out as a friend. You’re testing the waters to see if the door is cracked. You know it. I know it. She definitely knows it.

Let’s look at the data instead of the fantasy. You sent an email. Then another email to “clarify.” Then a Facebook request. And now you’re refreshing your inbox like she owes you closure. She doesn’t. Silence is an answer, and she’s giving you the most professional, efficient version possible. She’s not confused. She’s not hesitating. She’s uninterested.

And do not kid yourself with “I’d respect her relationship if she had one.” You already admitted you’d hope for more. That makes you a walking boundary violation waiting to happen. She can sense that a mile away. You’re not offering friendship. You’re offering a back door into her life disguised as goodwill.

Here’s the operational truth you keep avoiding. If she wanted contact, she’d take it. She hasn’t. That means her life has moved on and she’s protecting her peace by not opening the door you’re knocking on.

Stop contacting her. Stop checking for updates. Stop trying to resurrect a connection that died years ago. You don’t rebuild the past by poking at it. You just prove why it ended.

[Sally]

Old feelings don’t always stay dead just because the relationship ended. Sometimes someone shows up in a dream and suddenly you’re back in that old softness you thought you packed away.

But from what you wrote… she’s had seven years to reach out. And you’ve already sent two emails and a friend request with no response. That silence is the answer, even if it hurts.

If it were me, I wouldn’t send anything else. Not out of pride out of respect for myself. You said your piece. You were kind. You were honest. That’s enough.

Let this stay a sweet memory instead of turning it into a new ache. Sometimes the past is meant to stay where it is, even when it tugs at you.

[Natalie Noah]

It’s clear that you still deeply care for her, and the history you two share naturally makes it tempting to try again. What I notice, though, is that the last several years of reaching out and sending emails, gifts, and social media requests haven’t generated the response you hoped for. That’s not a reflection of your worth or the depth of your feelings, but it is an important signal about her boundaries and her current level of interest. You’re standing at a point where your desire to reconnect needs to be balanced with respect for her autonomy and space.

The fact that she rejected your Facebook friend request and hasn’t responded to your recent emails suggests she may not want to engage right now, and this is crucial to acknowledge. It’s very tempting to want to “clarify” everything, or make a grand gesture like the song or the dinner invite, but piling on more messages or calls in quick succession risks appearing desperate rather than thoughtful. Even though your intentions are genuine, repeated contact can have the opposite effect, and it’s important to step back and give her room to process or decide without pressure. Sometimes, not hearing back immediately is her way of asserting boundaries, not necessarily a judgment on your feelings.

From the advice April Masini gave, the strategy is about patience, self-reflection, and crafting a meaningful approach rather than simply repeating attempts. Waiting a week or more before reaching out again shows maturity and demonstrates that you can handle rejection and uncertainty with grace. When you do eventually reach out, it should be structured around her, not your emotions, showing appreciation for her, acknowledging your past mistakes, and offering something thoughtful (like the song or an invitation) in a way that respects her choice to accept or decline. The focus should be on her experience and feelings, not on proving how much you’ve suffered or how strongly you feel.

It’s also important to ground yourself emotionally. Seven years is a long time, and your desire to reconnect is entangled with nostalgia and idealization of the past. Recognizing this can help you approach the situation with clarity, your feelings are valid, but so is her right to say no or maintain distance. While you hope for a romantic reconnection, you also have to prepare for the possibility that she may not be open, and that’s not a reflection of your worth or value. Your emotional health has to come first, because being hurt and obsessive will only compromise your ability to communicate effectively.

Practical steps now include giving her space, focusing on yourself, and considering a single, well-thought-out future gesture rather than multiple emails or calls. If you do get her phone number or another legitimate channel to reach her, make sure your approach is calm, confident, and concise, something like: “Hi, I’ve been thinking of you and wanted to share a song I wrote for you. If you’d like, I’d love to take you to dinner and catch up.” Keep it light, positive, and non-demanding. Avoid referencing past rejections or social media denials; those can come across as resentment rather than affection.

Remember that love is about timing, alignment, and mutual desire. You’ve clearly put in effort and care over the years, and that’s commendable. But it’s also essential to recognize that some things are beyond your control her feelings, her life circumstances, and her choices. You can only control your actions and how you present yourself. By focusing on patience, self-improvement, and respectful outreach, you preserve your dignity and emotional strength whether she chooses to reconnect or not. This approach gives you the best chance for a positive outcome while protecting your heart from further hurt.

[Member]

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