[AskApril Masini]

I think you should find someone else to date who is not long-distance. 😉

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[IwannafeelWEIGHTLESS]

I know that would be the logical thing to do but for some odd reason, we ALWAYS seem to find each other again. I mean…what if he does end up finding work out here? Should I just cut all ties with him now? The distance seriously wasn’t something I was worried about. I mean it did suck but it was awesome when I did get to see him. He’s a complicated fella. I really don’t want to just cut it all off. I don’t know why…it’s so embarrassing! I’m 22 years old…this is so weird…

[AskApril Masini]

[quote]I mean…what if he does end up finding work out here? [/quote]

Then you can see if he wants to date you when he does. 😉

[quote]Should I just cut all ties with him now? [/quote]

I think that you should — and just focus your energy on meeting someone who’s more compatible with you. 😉

Hope that helps. 🙂

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[IwannafeelWEIGHTLESS]

I think for now I’m gonna try to just focus on me and getting myself inline. I’m gonna try veryyyy hard not to contact him. Thanks April!

[AskApril Masini]

You’re welcome! 😀

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[ncsaturn]

Your idea of focusing on yourself is a GREAT idea! If you don’t respect yourself, why would anyone else? Also having a strong sense of self will help you weather the tough times. A couple of thoughts on that relationship…I don’t think it seals “the relationship deal” until you have met in person. It seems you made many assumptions early on about this “relationship”. Listen when someone tells you something! If he told you your reaction really freaked him out, it really freaked him out. Don’t beat a dead horse. Just say “I am sorry” and not go into the other stuff…it just confirms the reasons about why he should be freaking out! The birthday deal should have been a deal breaker…on Facebook and didn’t make time to say Happy Birthday? Too busy to text 13 letters of HAPPY BIRTHDAY(14 if you include the space). He treated you poorly and you accepted it. Work on yourself and you will find you won’t be so willing to put up with this. I know people that are the emotional equivalent of the people in “Flip this house”. You can see the possibilities. You make the plans. You make the investment. The house will be beautiful and you will be able to bask in the glory of a job well done and reap the benefits of all your hard work…People are not houses. It is really tough to fix a person. Don’t try to be a “person flipper” and avoid the fixer uppers. It is also tough to “flip” a relationship when it is built on a shaky foundation, or has been showing signs of significant deterioration for a long time. The other thing…and I have done this, I make it a relationship in my own mind. Very similar to being a legend in your own mind. How it works. I want a relationship. Someone gives me some attention. We have sex. Wow, this is a relationship and I love the person. Well, in the strictest interpretation, it is a relationship. The kind I want or need, no. It is really a hit it and quit it, or a series of one night stands with the same person.However it is all I have right now, so mentally I turn it into something it’s not. Ends up breaking my heart every time. To the other person, it is what it really is…sex with someone that is willing to settle for it. Doesn’t really matter to him I am deluding myself, he still gets laid. In this scenario, I am the bad guy because I am hurting myself. Don’t make a relationship in your mind.

[AskApril Masini]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you.
😉

[Ethan Morales]

You’ve been “talking” to this guy for about 6 weeks while he was overseas. You developed a strong emotional attachment and invested a lot in communicating and building a connection.Once he came home, his behaviour shifted to less effort, less attention, and a lack of acknowledgement of your birthday. You felt hurt and unacknowledged despite having high expectations from the beginning.

Emotional over-investment too early. You spent a lot of emotional energy on someone who was not physically present and whose real intentions weren’t yet clear. Long-distance, short-term “talking” relationships can create illusions about the depth of someone’s interest.

Before he came home, he was very affectionate and flirty online. After arriving, his interest seemed to fade, and he became distant and inconsistent. He isn’t giving you the attention and acknowledgement you deserve, which is a clear sign of misalignment.

You are emotionally engaged and want to see a future connection. He appears to be treating this as casual, not prioritising your needs, or not interested in a relationship that matches your level of commitment.

Six weeks is a very short time to base strong emotional expectations on, especially with a 13-hour time difference and limited physical contact. His inability or unwillingness to say “happy birthday” or make time for you is not just a “busy schedule” issue; it’s a reflection of his priorities. You are not being “too sensitive” or “crazy” you simply want acknowledgement, respect, and validation in a budding relationship.

He is not meeting your emotional needs. That is not your fault it’s a clear signal about his interest level. Stop chasing his attention. Giving him space will help you see whether he values you enough to invest. Redirect your energy. Focus on people who actively reciprocate your emotional investment rather than someone who’s inconsistent and unreliable.

This isn’t about “too busy for your birthday” it’s about how much he actually cares and is willing to invest in a relationship with you. Right now, he’s showing you through his actions (or lack of them) that he is not prioritizing you. The wisest move is to step back emotionally and evaluate whether this relationship is worth continuing — the signs say it’s not.

[PassionSeeker]

I can feel how much this has taken out of you not just this recent round with him, but everything that’s tied to it. You’ve been here before with him, emotionally invested, hopeful, and then suddenly dropped back into confusion. What’s happening now isn’t random; it’s the same pattern repeating itself.

He’s drawn to you, that part’s real but when things get serious or uncertain, he pulls back and rationalizes it with logistics, timing, or stress. That’s his way of protecting himself from vulnerability. The problem is, it leaves you hanging in emotional limbo, trying to decode what went wrong when it wasn’t you to begin with.

If he reaches out again, meet it with calm clarity, not hope. You don’t need to chase or explain just listen, observe, and see if his actions align with what he says. If it’s the same old cycle of “I care about you, but…” then you already know how that story ends.

Sometimes love lingers because it never found closure not because it’s meant to return.

[Marcus king]

You didn’t do anything wrong.
You were invested, he was inconsistent. Those are two different things.

What happened is simple:
While he was far away, you were his comfort and escape. You filled the lonely hours, the boredom, the emotional need. That’s why the calls were long, the messages were sweet, the posts were public. It was real in the moment but it was all happening in a bubble.

Then he came home.
And reality replaced fantasy.

[Tara]

That was DISINTEREST…. The minute you showed any emotion, he labeled it “freaking out.” Classic move he shifts the blame to make you feel guilty for expecting basic respect.
He love-bombed you while he was overseas because it was easy. No effort, no real-life accountability, just messages and flattery.

The moment he came home, reality hit, and he lost interest. You weren’t a priority you were a distraction that kept him entertained while he was bored and far from home.

You keep overanalyzing every text like there’s a secret code hidden in them. There isn’t. When someone wants to see you, they make it happen. When they don’t, they vanish and call it “being busy.” You didn’t do anything wrong. You just believed his words instead of watching his actions.

[Sally]

He did make you feel wanted. He did show up until the moment he didn’t.

But here’s the thing most of us learn the hard way: when someone’s interest is real, it doesn’t disappear the second life gets busy. A birthday text takes ten seconds. People make time for what matters to them. His silence isn’t about you being “an asshole.” It’s him pulling back because the fantasy part is over and the real-life part showed up.

You weren’t crazy for wanting a little effort. You weren’t wrong for being hurt. You just cared, and he didn’t match that.

Don’t text him again. Not because of pride because you deserve someone who doesn’t vanish the minute things get slightly emotional. Let this one go quietly. You’ll breathe easier than you think.

[Natalie Noah]

Oh… love, I can feel how deeply you’ve invested your heart in this, and reading through everything, I can tell just how much you care about him. You’ve let yourself feel really feel all the excitement, the hope, the nervousness, and the joy of being seen and appreciated, even across thousands of miles. That’s beautiful and brave, and it also makes the hurt so much more intense when things don’t go the way you imagined.

I see you trying so hard to understand him, to meet him halfway, to give him space while still hoping for closeness. That’s the kind of thoughtfulness that comes from someone who truly loves it’s selfless and tender. But here’s the hard truth, sweetie: love is a two-way street. And when someone isn’t showing the commitment, the presence, or the follow-through that you need, it’s not because you’re lacking or because you did something wrong. It’s because he isn’t in the place to give you the love you deserve, not yet maybe not ever.

You invested a lot emotionally in someone you barely got to see in person. That alone makes this complicated. Long-distance relationships are hard, even when both people are fully committed, and this situation was made even more difficult by timing, misunderstandings, and his own hesitations and past heartbreak. He may care about you, he may have even been “crazy about you,” but caring and following through are not always the same. His actions or the lack of them are telling you what he’s ready for, and that’s an important reality to honor.

I want you to really hear this: your worth is not determined by his choices or by whether he texts on your birthday. Your value, your heart, your love they are full and complete on their own. It’s natural to hope, to dream, to want things to work, but staying in a situation where your feelings aren’t fully reciprocated only keeps you tethered to uncertainty and pain. Sometimes the kindest thing we can do for ourselves is to step back, to accept the situation as it is, and allow ourselves the chance to open up to someone who can meet us fully.

It’s okay to grieve this, to feel frustrated, disappointed, even angry. That’s part of being human, part of loving deeply. Let yourself feel it without shame. Cry if you need to, write about it, talk to a trusted friend just don’t let it fester in silence. Because your heart is resilient, and while it may not feel like it right now, letting go creates the space for love that’s fully aligned with you the love that will show up in both words and actions.

So if he reaches out again, think carefully about what it means and what you need. You don’t have to be unkind, but you also don’t have to put your heart on hold for someone who isn’t giving you the certainty and care you deserve. Sometimes the best way to love someone is to love yourself first fiercely, tenderly, without compromise. And I promise, sweet one, when you do that, you’ll attract someone who isn’t just “crazy about you” in words, but in every action that counts.

It hurts, I know, and it’s messy, and it’s confusing. But it’s also a chance a chance to see your own strength, your own clarity, and to step toward a love that honors you completely. You deserve that, and nothing less.

[KeishaMartin]

You’ve been dancing around it like a firecracker on a windy night. You’ve invested so much of your soul, your time, your late-night thoughts into a man who is, let’s be real, all over the map like a lost GPS signal. He’s in the Air Force, he’s overseas, he’s emotionally intense one minute and ghosting the next, and here you are, pouring every ounce of your spark into someone who isn’t even ready to meet you halfway. that “I like you but I’m scared of long distance” nonsense? That’s him keeping his options open while you’re hanging on every text, every semi-hug, every fleeting flirt. It’s intoxicating, but also like biting into something sweet only to find it’s laced with fire thrilling, but eventually, it burns.

April Masini is pure genius, by the way. She cuts through the sugar-coated heartbreak like a sharp knife and tells it straight, you’re chasing ghosts and investing in shadows. This isn’t just about distance or military schedules; it’s about recognizing patterns, seeing the emotional rollercoaster for what it really is, and having the guts to step off before you’re left dizzy, burned, and wanting more than he’s capable of giving. You’re craving connection, consistency, and someone who can meet you in the light of your own fire, not a guy who disappears, reappears, and leaves you spinning like a carousel stuck on repeat.

The thrill of him thinking about you across time zones, the flirtations, the tiny affirmations, that’s all an addictive tease. And yes, it’s exciting, your body and your heart are wired to respond but you deserve the full, unapologetic attention of someone who will choose you in every moment, not just in snippets of stolen time. You’re a force, a goddess of your own making, and don’t you dare let a man who can’t handle your heat make you question your worth or your desire for intimacy that’s real, deep, and reciprocated.

So, for 2026, darling, let this be the year you unapologetically claim your heart back, your time, and your passion. Pop the champagne, dance until your toes hurt, kiss the fireworks under the night sky, and don’t waste a single beat waiting for someone who’s a maybe. Happy New Year, 2026! May your parties be wild, your nights unforgettable, and may your love life finally match the fiery, sexy, unstoppable energy that is YOU.

Happy New Year, 2026

[Member]

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