This is one of those situations where your feelings matter just as much as the facts. What stands out to me most isn’t the number itself. it’s how that number lands in your heart. You didn’t ask for this information to judge him, but now that you have it, you’re trying to reconcile the man you know and care for with a past that feels uncomfortable and unfamiliar to you. That discomfort doesn’t make you insecure or wrong, it makes you human. There is no “average” number that magically makes this okay or not okay. What matters is whether his past aligns with your values today, and whether you can genuinely make peace with it not force yourself to overlook it just to keep the relationship intact.
I do want to gently push back on the harsh reply from GPM. Labeling someone as “perverted” or declaring they’ll inevitably cheat is fear-based and overly simplistic. People can change but not because they say they’re ready. They change because their patterns change. The real questions here are softer but deeper: Does he respect boundaries now? Does he show emotional consistency? Does his curiosity about your past feel like healthy openness, or does it feel intrusive and obsessive? And most importantly can you accept all of him without carrying resentment? If this information is going to live rent-free in your mind and slowly erode attraction or trust, that matters. Love doesn’t require you to betray your own comfort. Listen to that quiet inner voice it’s not judging him, it’s protecting you.
