[Anonymous]

I’ve been in the same relationship for 8 years now. And altough I still care a great deal for my girlfriend, her constant nagging and chastizing for the smallest matters, and the fact I can’t seem to be able to bring up any of my work and personal problems up in conversation without being reprimanded, or told I am to blame, have become frustrating. Furthermore, I still seem to have a lot of energy to spend, and while I want to go out and do things, she always wants to stay home or wants to do nothing more than sit at a cafe table with other couples. Often I feel like I just want to walk away and free myself, but I don’t seem to have the courage. And it doesn’t last forever.

Now the problem is, I’ve recently become very attracted to this other girl we know. She seems to have a lot of qualities my girlfriend doesn’t have. She’s stylish, she’s sassy, she’s uninhibited, she’s adventurous, etc. But at the same time I know that not only I would have very tough competition (fact) in getting close to her, the whole scenario makes an approach virtually impossible. But I get excited every time we talk, and I get jealous every time I see another guy get close to her.

Am I living an 8-year itch? How do I disconnect my mind from this other girl? Should I just sever contact? Or am I, like you say, settling for someone instead of going after who I want?

Thank you.

[Ask April Masini]

You know what to do! 😆 But I’m happy to read your mind and articulate your own thoughts for you! 😉

Eight years in a relationshp where you’re not compelled to marry the woman means something has held you back. She isn’t Ms. Right, and she’s become bitter waiting for you to pop a question that she now knows isn’t forthcoming. Hence her bitterness. You admittedly are chicken to break up and face all those beautiful women you’ll have to fight for, and instead, you’ve settled — in what is quickly becoming a fetid swamp relationship.

This woman you’re attracted to isn’t the solution. She’s the alarm clock that is telling you there are better situations for you out there. So first things first.

It’s time to break up with Ms. Wrong. Eight years is way too long for either one of you to be in the wrong relationship. Next, you need to buy my book for men (appropriately titled just for you), Date Our Of Your League. You can download it here: [url]http://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/date-out-of-your-league.html[/url]. You will lap this book up because it’s got everything you need to know in it. You are the reader who is the reason I wrote this book. So try it. It’s short, it’s cheap and it WILL help you. 🙂

Let me know how the break up goes, and what you think of the read.

I hope that helps. 🙂

[Anonymous]

Hi April

I forgot to mention one thing. We are living together, and have been so for 4 years. So I’m not sure how much (non)-marriage is a factor here. Therefore, I’d like to hear your opinion. If it maintains, I’ll seriously think about making an effort to break-up. It might take a couple of months to muster up the courage, but I will come back with news.

[Ask April Masini]

While you mention this other woman you’re attracted to, the only obstacle you seem to be taking into consideration is the other guys you’d have to fight off to get her! 😯 You don’t mention what it means to your current live in relationship, which is a BIG hint to me that you’re ready to move on in spite of sharing a home together for four years. That you never asked her to marry you once in the four years of dating and not living together and the four years of living together after that is a big clue you’re not ready to marry her — or anyone.

No judgment, but you should know yourself.

[Author]

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