[xchopstixx]

In June I’ll have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. we always spend a lot of time together. We had been dating a year before we moved into our own apartment. Eventually I noticed him acting very uncomfortable around his cell phone. The first time I noticed this was when he left the phone on the dining room table and I was near it because our closet door was also by the table and I had to get something. He quickly came and snatched it up. I didn’t even notice his phone and when he did that I thought it was really weird. And he began doing that type of behavior WHENEVER I was near his phone. Like he would set it down and freak out when I walked near it. I began feeling suspicious and I asked him, why do you keep grabbing your phone like that and tucking it away? He had just got a nokia slider phone and claimed he didn’t want me to break it. And I’m like okay. And this behavior persisted until I got fed up with it, because sometimes he’d run and snatch his phone out of my vacinity and I wouldn’t even like be near it enough to effect it.

I got the same phone and we’d record videos together or download videos online, music, etc. When it came a time I wanted to see a video we had recorded from awhile ago he wouldn’t want me to see them. It’s like he didn’t want me to see what was in his cell phone. And I realized then that something was truly wrong with the situation he didn’t just want me to be careful around his new phone. Eventually an opportunity presented itself and I was able to look through the phone. And there were pictures of lots of other naked women, porno videos, pictures of a girl from his past, text messages, phone calls, and girls in his phone book that he’d been talking to. And it got even worse when he got a new sidekick lx or xl or something. I knew this was wrong because of course he kept these things from me. And I confronted him the very instance I found it because of course I was so upset. I asked him was he cheating and he denied it and said,”If I didn’t want to be with you then I would just tell you.” And to this day he tells me this if I ask him anything regarding cheating.

Over the last two years I have caught texts between him and other women that I have never heard of. Mostly I confronted him when the messages seemed sexual or private and he’d deny them or act stupid about them. Once I even saw a text that he sent out saying that he had taken a girl to a hotel. And I confronted him about it and he said his phone was “f*ing up” he really wasn’t cheating and his friend sent him that text. And a month ago I saw a text he sent to a girl saying “it’s too hard to be around you.” I called this number, because he doesn’t save the numbers with the person’s name in his phone anymore. I didn’t want to talk to the person I just wanted to see if I could find out if it was another woman, and luckily she happened to have a voicemail that said her name and that she wasn’t in. I hung up and I asked him later, I wasn’t even mad I just felt … I don’t even know how to describe it. And he acted confused about it.

Before I saw that message I had been working on regaining my trust with him trying to talk to him about it and resolve it, etc, and I still had my reservations and suspicions. I prayed to God about it everyday and I just asked God, since I can’t know for sure if he really is talking to other women behind my back because I’m not a psychic I just asked him please give me a sign or something that will let me know FOR SURE anything. It happened.

A business connection I had met through my boyfriend asked me how long we’d been together I said, 2.5 years, she said do you think he’s faithful to you? and she looked really concerned in the face then told me that she met my boyfriend about a week ago before he got a business card from her and he asked her was she seeing anyone and she told him she was married. I told him what she said and he denied it gave me his version and got all angry and I didn’t really believe him I but then I did believe him at the same time because he seemed really angry about it when he told me what really happened according to him.

But since that most recent message I found about him saying it was too hard to be around some girl, which was when we were sharing one car and I had a job far out he had to pick me up and drop me off, I thought to myself that he was really seeing someone. Now he has a lock on his text messages and that sends off a red flag to me because I’ve never hidden anything from him like that. He acts like he doesn’t care about saying whatever to me but then will lock his messages and if I need to use the phone won’t let me or chase me around the house when I’m talking. And I just don’t hide who I talk to or my messages or anything from him. He claims he doesn’t hide that from me either, but he’s trying to otherwise it wouldn’t be locked.

Should I call it quits with this person or am I overreacting? Because my trust issues are killing me, I can’t stand them and I can’t help that I have them. There’s been too many times I’ve found messages and I can’t get over it. Please help.

[AskApril Masini]

I think you already know the answer to your question. My question to you is why are you second-guessing yourself? Something is telling you things aren

[relation]

If you think that you should take an action then you should do it now… Don’t delay or it could be harmful for u…

[AskApril Masini]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

I am here to help, and happy to answer any questions you have. 😀

[Natalie Noah]

You’ve been carrying a heavy burden of mistrust and anxiety in this relationship. Your instincts have been telling you for a long time that something is off, and your repeated discoveries of secretive behavior texts, messages, and hidden content on his phones aren’t small issues. They’re patterns that indicate he’s not fully committed or transparent with you, and no matter how much he denies cheating, the secrecy itself erodes trust. You’re not overreacting; your feelings are valid, and they’re your mind’s way of signaling that this relationship may be damaging your emotional well-being.

It’s also evident that you’ve tried to work on this relationship in good faith talking things through, praying for guidance, and giving him opportunities to be honest but the patterns haven’t changed. Instead of reassurance, you’ve been met with defensiveness, more secrecy, and excuses that don’t align with his actions. Trust is foundational in any relationship; without it, you’re constantly second-guessing and stressed, which is exactly what you’re experiencing now. No amount of explanation can replace consistent, trustworthy behavior, and it seems he’s unwilling or unable to provide that.

The healthiest step for you is to seriously consider ending this relationship. Staying in it keeps you in a cycle of suspicion and hurt, which isn’t fair to you. Ending things may be painful in the short term, but it would give you the space to heal, regain confidence, and eventually find someone who respects and values you fully someone whose actions and words are aligned. You deserve honesty, emotional safety, and trust, and if that’s missing, it’s not a reflection of weakness on your part; it’s a reflection of his inability to meet the standards of a healthy relationship.

[Member]

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