[Armywife09]

Hi, I recently got married to my 6 year boyfriend, we are expecting our first child in 2 months. I know they say during pregnancy you get really hormonal, but it’s been getting to me a lot lately and I’ve moved away from my family and friends so I don’t have anyone to talk to about this so I found your website. Well just a couple weeks before me and my husband got married I saw his Facebook messages and seen that he’s been asking females for numbers, I’ve read some of the previous messages and it dosent show he’s been flirting as much but seeing him asking or getting attention from other females when I was there for him really got to me, I was going through my first trimester at the time and with finding out I’m pregnant, getting married and moving away just made it so stressful to me because it was something new to me. I confronted him and he said things will change as so I thought it did hit a few days later I found out he was still doing the same thing and I asked him if me and him could get off social media and he agreed, but a few weeks later I found out he still had it and was talking to some females again, he keeps making me promises saying he is off and he’s not talking to them when I saw the messages Myself, to this day we still argue about it, I don’t completely trust him yet, I still feel like he’s telling me lies and still talking to other females. I don’t know if it’s something stupid that I should drop or not? It still hurts me to this day, what if I’m accusing him of this and he’s not doing anything.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you both?

[Armywife09]

We are both young, I am 19 and he’s 21. Just recently I found him back on fb again and he lied to me and tried to say he wasn’t on there but as soon as I said I got proof he was speechless because he couldn’t lie his way out of it. He said that I deserve better than him and that he’s sorry. He didn’t say it won’t happen again and he told me the real reason why he messaged those other females again.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m sorry this is so difficult at such a tough transitional time for you. Since you’re 19 and he’s 21 and you’ve been dating for 6 years (since you were 13 and he was 15), you probably don’t have a lot of dating experience with other people. For some people that’s fine. For others, they may feel that they missed out on experiences. Your husband may have those feelings. And while you say you recently married and are two months pregnant, I’m guessing that you got married because you were pregnant, which may make him feel trapped, in spite of his being part of the pregnancy sex and being the one to propose and get married. I’m not asking you to forgive him, but I am asking you to try and understand how things got to this point. You’re both very young to be going through all of this at once. And, since he’s making it clear to you that he’s going to cheat on you, and doesn’t seem to want to work on the marriage, you have to make decisions based on that fact. 😳 I know it’s disappointing, but this is where you are. It really sounds like he wants out of the marriage and if he’s not willing to work at it or fight for it, it might be best for you to accept this. When you’re ready, you should ask a family member to come stay with you to help out with the baby — or you can move back home and have the baby there where you’ll have family and friends to support you. I know this is tough to hear. Feel free to ask me any other questions you might have.

[Eric Morgan]

Right now, you are the “victim”. Take the power into your own hands. Tell him, “Okay, if you really don’t deserve me, we will spend some time apart.” Go to your parents, enjoy your pregnancy, and show him that my life is beautiful without you. Only when a man has a “fear of loss” will he be straight.
I agree with AskApril that both have been together since childhood (13 and 15 years old), so the husband feels that he has not seen the world and is feeling “trapped”, especially because of the pregnancy. You should go back to your home (to her parents), where you can find support, because this marriage is on the verge of breaking up.

[Member]

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