[tripx]

Dear April,
3 years ago I met a guy and we hit it off straight away, we always had great conversations he always told me that he loved talking to me and we never ever got bored of being together.
A few months ago while we were spending the night together [as friends no sex or anything else just night chats kinda thing] he opened up to me about what his parents were like, what his life and relationships had been like, his plans for the future, his views on children and even about how he had been cheated on recently.
I felt really close to him and it was the beggining to a week full of openess and closeness, then he finally said if we “would ever be more than this”. I told him I really liked talking to him and how I found him different from other men. The next day he picked me up from work and took me to a park then he sat down I didn’t see what he was doing till he tied a yarn necklace he had just made around my neck. It felt more like we were a couple he would always walk close to me, he’d ask me alot of questions about my future and present, he would ask about my opinion on things, as a random joke i grabbed his sleeve and when i did he looked at me for a while and went really quiet so I apologised. When it was time to go I had to take the bus and he had a train to catch his train was leaving in 10 minutes but he walked me to the bus my bus was arriving late and I told him he could go if he wanted to but he always said “no I’ll stay till you get on the bus” during that time we didnt talk much but we would look at each other and smile often and he was always close to me either looking at me or playing with my bag which I found amusing. Then my bus came I looked back at him and he had this sort of situation “you hang up no you hang up” I ended up being the last person to enter the bus. Because he kept mentioning our next time together I thought it had gone great and was very happy. The next day he messaged me saying I made him laugh and that he wanted me to wish him luck for a game. From that point on for a month we spoke about 2 a week without a fail then I sent him a message saying “I like you I hope this doesn’t ruin our friendship” and he said “I like you too!!!!!!!” then he changed subject but he started calling me honey or dearest or sweetheart more often. Some weeks later he approached me and began singing “patience” by guns n roses to me, I didn’t know the lyrics so I just made a random comment and he said “I never want you to change honey” before I could say anything he walked away, That was the last time we spoke! He began acting weird towards me like avooiding me I sent him a message saying “I’m sorry if I made you feel bad in anyway” and he said “you’re overthinking things” and he sounded quite angry at me. So I let it go. then new years came and I posted on his facebook saying “Happy new years” he deleted my post of his wall. I thought maybe I should do something so I sent him our song because I knew he always loved it and said “I’m sorry about the last time.I don’t like you as more than a friend” he said “Don’t worry and that song is crap!” Then went back to avoiding me. I didn’t know what to do anymore so again I let some time pass again and wrote him a letter telling him i wasn’t going to try and make things right anymore I don’t know what happened and he is the only person who dooes. If I did anything wrong he can tell me and if he doesn’t like me or doesn’t want to be friend’s anymore he can tell me or delete me off facebook, msn etc and I will understand, I won’t hate him or anything and that I really like him and wish him the best. After this? He disappeared. He has become withdrawn from everything and everyone… He avoids me like the plague. What do I do?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I don’t know how old the two of you are, but it sounds like he wanted to date you, but never did, for some reason. Because the relationship didn’t really progress and because he has some unresolved issues that have nothing to do with you, he’s moved on. My advice is that you do the same. There’s no sense in pursuing a man who isn’t interested in you. In fact, it’s not just a waste of your time, it will become negative energy in your life.

Instead, look for men who are available to be in a relationship with you — not just socially, but emotionally. 😉

I hope this helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[tripx]

Dear Abby,
Thank you for your advice
I considered that he might have moved on but I wasn’t really sure how can someone move on in one day especially cause we were becoming closer so I suppose that could be considered relationship progress?
Then I wondered whether he was still unsure about his ex cheating on him and still feels caught up on it I say this because he’s a very sensible person…
After all I decided to let time do it’s thing, i’ve been meeting lots of new people and going on dates but i haven’t completely forgotten him I still think about him and wish I was with him but at least I’m trying…
I’m sorry I didn’t specify our ages I’m 19 and he’s 22.
If you don’t mind me asking do you think I should keep him as a friend or would it be better if I pretended he doesn’t exist anymore?
Thanks a million,
Best wishes.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I don’t think you should keep him as a friend because he’s taking up space in your heart and mind where you should be free to be available for men who are ready and willing to date you and be in a relationship with you. 😉 You won’t REALLY feel single if he’s waiting in the sidelines or if you’re comparing other men to him. So let go of him as a friend and free yourself up. 🙂

You don’t have to pretend he doesn’t exist — you can accept that he’s someone from your past who you liked, and had hoped to be in a relationship with — but didn’t work out.

I hope this helps. Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter. 😀

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