[nlr0513]

May 13th will be one year for my current relationship. We dated in high school and reconnected last yr after I got out of a horrible relationship and he came home from deployment in Africa. Everything has been great between us..very intense love and the promise to be together forever except in the case of lying, cheating, or stealing from one another. I know he loves me a lot, I can feel it when we are with each other.

He and his dad own a flooring co. He just started a new job contracting with another company which takes him to be out of state Sun night through Fri noon, so we’re seeing way less of each other than we used to. I don’t mind, it doesn’t impact my feelings for him-if anything, I love the time I have with him more.

A couple of weeks ago, he told me he considered ending things with me b/c this new job (which is not temporary) is very stressful and takes up all of his energy and it’s not fair to me. I asked him if his feelings had changed, he said not at all. He said he was feeling guilty and that recently he didn’t feel like he’d been giving me what I deserve. I explained to him that our relationship and love was unconditional, and that I did not want to break up, that I loved him so much and I literally don’t see a future without him in it. Since then, I’ve been trying to prove to him that this will be worth it. He told me he knows it will be. I’ve recently been backing off because I think I’m overdoing it and I don’t want to stress him out more.

I TRULY believe he is the love of my life. I just want to know what I should do, if anything.

[Ask April Masini]

It sounds like you’re doing everything right. By reassuring him that you’re in this for the long run, and that if his job takes him out of town during the week, and back to you on weekends, you’re okay with it, you’ve done the right thing. Make sure that your weekends together are restful and upbeat so that he can see that this is working for you and for him. If the weekends become stressful and full of conflict or guilt, he’s not going to stay in the game. But, if you can show him — not tell him, but show him with your behavior — that you understand the “for better or for worse” part of long-term committed relationships, he’ll be okay.

The only thing you have to watch out for is if he wants to break up and he’s trying to make the break up about his new job distance problem, so as not to hurt your feelings. Sometimes people who want out will look for a crack to leverage into a break. For instance, if he really didn’t want to continue the relationship, and he knows that one year is a landmark for people looking for a commitment, he may use this new work schedule as an excuse to end things.

But, if what you’re saying is true — that he wants this relationship to go the distance, but doesn’t want you to suffer because he can’t be there for you during the week, the way he used to be — then he’s just being sensitive to your needs and giving you the opportunity to walk. You don’t want to, so show him. If he brings it up, or if there’s a chance to talk about your future together, let him know that you’d be willing to move with him if it looks like he’s committed to the job and to you. 😎

[Ethan Morales]

This is a deeply emotional situation, and honestly, I think April nailed it with her analysis but let’s unpack the emotional layers a bit more. What you’re describing sounds like a strong, genuine connection between two people who truly love each other but are now facing the kind of real-life obstacle that tests every relationship: time, distance, and stress. When someone is overwhelmed especially a man who’s used to being capable, protective, and reliable it’s common for them to feel guilty when they can’t give their partner the same level of attention or energy. That guilt can easily morph into the thought, “Maybe she’d be better off without me.” That’s not a reflection of lost love; it’s often a sign of emotional exhaustion and fear of failing you.
Your instinct to reassure him and stand by him is beautiful it shows emotional maturity and unconditional love. But you’re absolutely right to recognize that “overdoing it” can backfire. When one partner is feeling drained, too much pursuit, reassurance, or caretaking (even when loving) can start to feel like pressure instead of support. What works better here is quiet consistency letting your actions show your loyalty while maintaining your independence and emotional balance. That tells him, “I love you deeply, but I’m also strong enough to handle the hard parts of life with you.”
The subtle risk April mentioned that he could be emotionally preparing to leave but softening the reasoning is worth keeping in mind. You don’t need to be paranoid, but it’s smart to stay observant. If he continues to express love, make time for you on weekends, and stay emotionally connected (even through small gestures like texting goodnight or calling when he can), then this is just a temporary storm. But if his tone starts to shift more distance, fewer reassurances, or avoidance of future plans that might mean he’s struggling to stay in it emotionally, and you’ll need to face that directly.
For now, your best move is balance: show him love, but don’t lose yourself in trying to “prove” your worth. When he’s home, make those days calm, intimate, and affirming. When he’s away, keep your own life full and meaningful that will actually reassure him that you’re doing okay without needing him to fix everything.
My honest opinion? You’re handling this better than most people would. If he truly is the love of your life and it sounds like he might be the best way to protect that love is to stay steady, grounded, and real. Let him feel your love without feeling your anxiety.
Would you like me to tell you exactly how to communicate your support and reassurance in a way that strengthens his trust instead of adding emotional pressure?

[Val Unfiltered💋]

babe… you’re out here doing emotional gymnastics for a man who already told you he’s tired 😮‍💨 like yes, he loves you, but love isn’t supposed to feel like proving your worth on repeat. he’s stressed? fine. but don’t shrink yourself just to fit into his schedule. stop “proving,” start being. if it’s meant, it won’t need convincing. 💋

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