[katiexstanton]

me and this guy met on an online dating site. we went on two dates. both went really well, there was definitely physical attraction, and I thought we got along as well. he put his arm around me at the movies, he talked about meeting my dad, etc. however, his contact sucked. I felt like I initiated most of the conversations, and going out on dates. however, I gave him the benefit of the doubt because his contact before and after the dates remained the same, but we wouldn’t really talk for 4 or 5 days at a time. he told me he was bad with his phone. he went in for the kiss both dates and we made out, and he even asked me to his grad party and hinted at a 3rd date. I went away for mdw and I texted him before I left saying that I wanted to hang out when I got back and he said “yeah def” still didn’t hear from him for 5 days so I gave in again and texted him but I felt like answers were short and he never gives me what I want. that night I got drunk and got excessive with the texting and he texted me the next day saying “funny story..left my phone at work” so I said “omg please ignore I was drunk..sorry” and he said “its ok” I said “do you still wanna hang out?..if it’s a no it’s fine but I wanna make it up to you” and he said “yes” and then he said “you know what..yeah just forget it..even if I wanted to see you I’m moving to nyc in 2 weeks so I won’t be able to see you anymore.” ps. I live on the island, but I’m never in the city. so I said “you act like you’re moving to another country” he said “right and I don’t expect you to come to manhattan” and I said “so you’ll never be on the island, and you don’t think I would come to nyc once in awhile” and he said “no I would never be on the island it would be rare..and I figured no” so I said “clearly you made your decision, I wish you would give things a chance..id be willing to go to nyc once in awhile because I like hanging out with you” and he said “at this point in my life I think its best if I’m single I have a lot on my mind and a lot going on” and I said “no problem good luck with everything” and then he never said anything else and now once again I’ve been excessively texting acting crazy and he’s not responding. I’m just disappointed, if he wasn’t into me..i wish he would have told me from the beginning.

1. do you think he just wasn’t interested from the beginning?
2. do you think he was interested but seriously concerned about the distance and wants to start a new life in the city?
3. or do you think he was interested and i ruined everything just by excessively texting the one time?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

[quote]1. do you think he just wasn’t interested from the beginning?
2. do you think he was interested but seriously concerned about the distance and wants to start a new life in the city?
3. or do you think he was interested and i ruined everything just by excessively texting the one time?
[/quote]

1. I think he was interested in you in the beginning, but then he lost interest.

2. I think his disinterest was broad. He’s starting a new life and he wants to be single, and he’s not that into you, so he’s trying to let you know that he doesn’t want to date you. Don’t worry about the rejection — it’s a good way to realize it’s time to move on and find someone who DOES want to date you! 😉

3. You definitely shouldn’t chase guys — which you did. Drunk texting is a really bad idea, and texting or contacting him because he hasn’t, is also a bad idea. When you let him take the lead in contacting you, you can tell how interested he is in you! My guess is that this would have fizzled out sooner had you not pushed, but luckily, you didn’t invest too much time and energy into someone who isn’t going to be your Mr. Right. 😉

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[katiexstanton]

What made you believe he was interested in me in the beginning? And when do you think he lost interest..because he was moving or because of my excessive texting?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I believe he was interested in you in the beginning because he invited you to go on two dates! 🙂 That definitely shows interest! 😀 I think he lost interest in you because he’s got so much going on in his own life that is more important right now, and also maybe it wasn’t a real great love match for him. Men will want a relationship when they’re READY for a relationship. If they’re moving, starting new jobs and new lives, they’re going to want to be unattached and not tied down to anyone. Look for a guy who’s READY for a relationship instead of a guy who’s in transition. 😉

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[katiexstanton]

Okay so you think he was interested in me but now he has a lot going on in his life and he has lost interest because he’s moving and what not. Do you think he was interested and lost interest because of the excessive texting or do you think that he had already lost interest just because of the fact that he was moving and knew it wouldn’t work out?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think the primary problem was that he was changing his lifestyle and wasn’t interested in a commitment at the time.

[katiexstanton]

Do you think he was interested in me and if he still lived on the island he would ask me out again? I guess I’m just confused I thought he was interested in me and out of nowhere he just cut me out because he’s moving. I don’t know if I did something or if he just wants to cut off contact because he’s moving and he won’t be able to see me? Can you please let me know what you think?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’re stuck and you’re having trouble moving on. I’ve already answered your questions (read the answers I’ve already given you), but you keep asking them because you don’t want to accept that it’s over with him. 😳 He’s no longer interested in dating you and the important thing is for you to move on. Stop focusing on him, and start focusing on yourself as single and available! 😉

It’s very important when dating to understand that you’re both getting to know each other, and at any moment you’re both free to leave. Whether he decided you weren’t right for him because you weren’t his cup of tea, or he wasn’t interested in a “long distance” relationship (whether you think it’s long distance or not), he doesn’t want to date you. Time to get out of your own head, change some things in your life that will help you get back on track towards healthy living and looking for Mr. Right, and be grateful that you’re not wasting time with someone who isn’t your future. 🙂

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