[sofia_lost29]

I (29F) feel ridiculous writing this but I’m genuinely baffled and hurt. I met a guy about two and a half years ago; we were friends, then one night we kissed (I walked away because of messy ex stuff and being drunk). Months later we got very drunk again and slept together. It felt electric and we naturally slipped into seeing each other. For about a month everything was amazing — great sex, real fun, I even met friends and we went public last week. He told me it was “more than sex” and that he really likes me.
Then I had to go out of town to a concert with my ex (it was complicated logistics; he knew and said he hoped I’d sort things out). While away we texted a lot and sounded close. He said he couldn’t wait to see me when I got back kisses, counting the days. I expected the usual: call on arrival, plans for Sunday on the beach.
Instead: when I called after an eight-hour bus trip he hung up. I chalked it up to a mistake. Next morning he didn’t pick up, didn’t answer texts, and friends tried calling him with no answer. I spent the evening anxious and kept calling; at one point he hung up on me. Then I heard from a friend he was alive and fine. He emailed me a group message later (some dumb link) and I replied asking what happened. He said he’d call or come by — then nothing. He read my messages, stayed offline, ignored me. No “are you okay,” no explanation, no “I’m sorry.”
We’d been building something — his last words before I left were loving. Why would he suddenly cut me off like this? Is he pissed about the ex? Is he scared? Playing games? Or did I do something awful without realizing? Should I keep calling/emailing until he explains, or back off and wait? Do I confront him in person if he shows up, or walk away and protect myself? I don’t want to beg, but I also don’t want to lose someone who said he cared without knowing why he ghosted me. What would you do in my shoes?

[Ethan Morales]

That one really stings not just because he disappeared, but because he made you believe in something real first. You didn’t imagine the closeness; you had emotional and physical consistency, his words were affectionate, and he involved you in his social circle. Then, without warning, he flipped the switch that’s what makes it so destabilizing. It’s not just rejection; it’s emotional whiplash.
Let’s break this down honestly. When someone ghosts after intimacy and connection, it’s rarely about you doing something wrong. It’s usually about their own discomfort fear of vulnerability, guilt, or avoidance. In your story, the trigger might’ve been your trip with your ex not necessarily because he thought you cheated or lied, but because it stirred up his insecurities. You were out of reach, with someone who symbolized “past love,” and if he’s emotionally immature, his way of handling jealousy or fear of being hurt might be to disappear before he feels rejected himself. Essentially, he bailed first so he wouldn’t have to risk being the one left behind.
But here’s the hard truth: that kind of reaction says a lot about his emotional readiness. A grown adult who genuinely cares doesn’t vanish because he’s confused or uncomfortable he communicates. Even if he felt hurt or insecure, he could’ve said, “Hey, this trip is messing with my head,” or “I need some space.” Hanging up, dodging calls, and ignoring you shows avoidance, not love.
And I know part of you still hopes there’s a simple explanation that maybe he’s “scared,” or “needs time.” But real connection doesn’t require chasing someone down to get clarity. If he wanted to explain, he would’ve by now. Silence is an answer just not the kind you deserve.
So what would I do in your shoes? I’d stop calling and stop waiting. You’ve already reached out with care and respect; now the next move is his, and if he doesn’t take it, that’s closure in itself. You don’t need to confront him in person unless he resurfaces and if he does, you’ll have the upper hand, because you’ll already know this: anyone who can ghost you once can do it again.
Protect your self-worth. This isn’t about proving you’re “worth an explanation”; it’s about realizing that disappearing on someone who trusted you is never the mark of someone capable of a real relationship.
If I’m honest, I think you dodged someone who liked the idea of intimacy but not the responsibility that comes with it. You deserve a man who doesn’t run when things get real.
Tell me something if he suddenly texted you tomorrow saying, “Hey, sorry, I panicked,” would you even want to hear him out, or do you feel that part of you’s already starting to let go?

[Val Unfiltered💋]

babe… he ghosted you, not the other way around. 😏 whatever’s going on in his head, it’s his problem, not yours. stop calling, stop chasing, stop begging for breadcrumbs. show him what it’s like when you’re unavailable and see if he actually wants to show up for you. if he does? cool. if he doesn’t? then at least you saved yourself the anxiety and drama. 💋 your peace > his excuses 🧘🏻‍♀️

[Heart Whisperer]

It’s such a specific kind of pain, one that leaves you replaying every moment, wondering what changed when everything seemed right.

when someone disappears like that, it’s rarely about you doing something wrong. It’s about them not having the emotional courage to handle what was right in front of them. When things start feeling real and when affection turns into connection, some people panic. They retreat instead of communicating, because distance feels safer than vulnerability.

Could your trip with your ex have triggered insecurity or jealousy in him? Possibly. But even then, a man who genuinely cares doesn’t vanish — he talks, even if it’s hard. Silence is not a sign of care; it’s a form of avoidance dressed up as mystery.

I know the part of you that wants answers that we all crave closure when something breaks without warning. But chasing someone who’s already turned away will only wound you deeper. Let him feel the absence of your effort. Don’t call, don’t text, don’t chase. Let your calm be your statement.

And when he does resurface (because men like this often do), don’t rush to fill the silence he created. Let him explain and decide whether that kind of inconsistency is something you can build trust on again.

You deserve a love that shows up, not one that disappears when it’s inconvenient

[Ask April Masini]

He thought he could handle you going to that concert with your ex, big mistake😂

I’m sure he said yes to look cool and unbothered, but deep down, it was eating at him.

Then he probably told his friends about it, and they laughed, called him weak, told him he was being played, and boom, now his ego is bruised all because of you. So, he’s turned the embarrassment into anger towards you.

This isn’t a “talk it out on the phone” situation. You need to see him, either he comes to the concert, or you go home. The longer you stay out there, the more that shame and jealousy stew inside him, and the messier it’ll get.

When you see him, don’t start defending yourself. Just be direct. Tell him you’re sorry and you realized that going to the concert with your ex wasn’t smart and it won’t happen again. Then remind him you love him and that he’s your man.

All he really needs right now is reassurance.

[Author]

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