[anja2202]

A year ago my friend tried to set me up with this one guy, he warned me he was very awkward to talk, we started talking and hit it right off the bat we connected instantly we would talk for hours and not get bored of each other. Before we met he got turned down by a girl he liked for nearly a year and I helped him get over it. I told him I am not interested in dating anyone though and he was completely fine with it…but we do act all couple like when we are together. Maybe after 7 months he started bringing other girls into our conversations but I was completely fine with it like whatever but then he told me he has liked me sense the beginning and I admitted i liked him too. Just 2 weeks ago the girl that turned him down, invited him randomly to her birthday party at this amusement park and i was there too and was all over me and suddenly he stopped talking to me and I knew it was because of her so we met up and I just wanted the truth i don’t want to get played…he admitted he started getting all these memories and feelings he had with her and said it will always be her (girl he got turned down from) but she has done nothing to him but hurt him and i told him that and told him how i felt. Even though i should of been mad i wasn’t i was more hurt and embarrassed i said all my feeling to this guy before he said he preferred the other girl but before he kept holding me and nearly kissed me the same day, so im really confused about that? And also said he doesn’t want to loose his best friend (me). He also has a past mentioning other girl in our conversations trying to make me jealous. Its been two weeks sense we last talked and I decided to spike up a conversation and i mentioned I know this may be awkward but you said you didn’t want to loose a friend and neither do i. And he hasn’t responded for 2 days so its clearly that he is trying to avoid me. I talked to the friend that set us up and he said that the girl turned him down a day before i chatted him the “don’t wanna loose a friend” so he said he might feel weird about it…I don’t know what to do honestly he is my best friend I don’t wanna loose him I need your thoughts about this and what can i do? I am giving him some space though.

We are both 17

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It’s impossible to be friends with someone of the opposite sex because there are usually romantic feelings from at least one person towards the other and it can be confusing, as you’re finding, to know where the friendship ends and a romance begins. In addition, a real friend is happy for someone who has a new girlfriend, and the fact that you’re jealous and hurt, really does indicate that it’s not a friendship you have. It’s a romance that never quite took off. 😕

When he keeps you around, it’s for safety, so he doesn’t have to be alone, but the reality, as you’re finding out, is that he doesn’t want you to be his girlfriend and he’s looking elsewhere.

I know you don’t want to lose a friend, but you can’t lose one you never had. 😳

Look for friendships with women and see men, as you get older, as people to date — or not. 😉

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