[MGloveshim]

I am stupidly completely in love with a man who loves me too, but evidently he has commitment problems. He refuses adamantly to become involved romantically with my, despite my “willingness” to have an open relationship to give him less commitment. I can’t walk away from him- he only man i ever really loved, and the only i ever will love. I might be young, but i know this much.

To be brutally honest, i hate having to sit by and wait for him to grow out of his enourmous libido. New sexual partner every week, he can’t become committed for fear that one woman wouldn’t be enough. I know him better than anyone else, and i know that it would be hard for him at first, but i also know that he could do it with ease if he really wanted it to work.

I have all but given up on getting anything but an open relationship (he was the one who thought of this, not me) because of this. An open relationship scares me, though, for even if he says he loves me, he changes his mind incessantly all the time.

In one, i’m not willing to share, but i don’t want to lose him. “Just friends” isn’t going to cut it, either. So what do i do?

[MGloveshim]

please, somebody. i need help. 😥

[Anonymous]

please, someone help me 🙁

[April Masini, your AskApril]

The hardest part of any relationship can be allowing a second person their own personality, their own feelings, and their own behavior! But you are going to be tortured until you face reality. And then it’s not going to be so pleasant either, but it’s the only way to have peace and happiness in the long run.

Your boyfriend is making things so clear for you: he isn’t interested in you. I’m sorry, but you can’t make him want you when he doesn’t. When you write that he’s adamantly refusing to become romantically involved with you — you have your own answer.

I wonder what it is about a man who doesn’t want to be with you, that you want so much.

So, here’s what you do. You stop calling, texting, e-mailing and running into him. The reason is because you are too valuable to waste your time with someone who isn’t interested in you. You start spending time in places where available men are doing productive things — like working, working out, lunching, or hanging out with your good friends.

If you’re calm enough to sit down and read, you’d do well to get my book, Think & Date Like A Man, by clicking on the Relationship Advice Books tab at the top of the page, then scrolling down and buying the book for $15. It will help you step by step to start dating eligible and fantastic men who want to be with you and will bring you romance and happiness.

In the meantime, I feel your panic and your pain, but unless you change your own behavior, there’s no chance of anything good happening in the near future. Change your course, however, and love and romance are yours for the having.

[Evie]

I have to agree with April. From what you said, you’re wasting your time waiting for him to come around. It’s hard to see it at first, but the signs are clear. I’ve been through a similar avenue (waiting or hoping the guy would come around), but the signs have been there for a while and I just wasn’t seeing it!

Even if he comes around and get romantically involved with you, how can you be sure that he won’t go around with another woman every week? I just feel that you might end up getting hurt.

And the book she recommended, buy it! It’s an easy read and I learnt some stuff from it, coming from no experience in dating.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

[Natalie Noah]

The painful mismatch between love and availability. She is deeply emotionally invested, but he is being consistently honest through his actions: he does not want commitment, exclusivity, or even a defined romantic relationship. No matter how much love exists, love alone cannot override someone’s refusal to choose you. The hardest truth in this story is not about libido or fear. it’s that he is prioritizing freedom over partnership, and that choice is being made every day.

The idea of agreeing to an open relationship out of fear of losing him is especially concerning. An open relationship only works when it aligns with both people’s authentic needs. Here, it clearly doesn’t. She already knows sharing him would hurt her, and that he is inconsistent and changes his mind often. Entering an arrangement that contradicts your values doesn’t preserve love it slowly erodes self-worth. What feels like compromise now would likely become prolonged emotional damage later.

The advice to stop contact isn’t punishment or cruelty; it’s self-preservation. When someone refuses to commit but accepts your emotional presence, they get intimacy without responsibility. That dynamic keeps hope alive while blocking real progress. Stepping away is not about forcing him to realize your value it’s about reclaiming it yourself. No one who truly wants a future with you requires you to accept less than you need.

Intense love does not mean eternal love, especially at a young age when emotions feel absolute. Saying “he’s the only man I’ll ever love” is a feeling, not a fact. Feelings evolve when circumstances change. Painful as it is, choosing distance is the only path that creates space for healing, clarity, and eventually, a relationship where love and commitment exist together without negotiation, fear, or self-betrayal.

[Member]

Posts