[Anonymous]

I have been dating this guy for just about 3 years (it will be three years first week of May). I am his first girlfriend, and he is my first boyfriend. He is a very nice guy, old fashioned of sorts, fairly respectful (more so in the beginning than now) but he can get very jealous, and act very juvenile, and just does not show any change in any near future. We made a very big jump and well our relationship has grown more physical than anything else and I feel that is mainly where his thoughts are at this time. He tells me all the time that its about how I feel and that I have the final say but if I say that I just don’t feel like it he nags and claims I only want to to make you feel special. This annoys me so much! Another aspect that just irritates me is the fact that he is always touching, kissing, hugging, holding, rubbing on me it is never-ending and if I do pull away he starts in with the “what did I do wrong now?!?!” bit. He even had the GALL to introduce my mother to his friend as his future-mother-in-law. (we have NEVER discussed this and I think he is a little preemptive in this category) He never takes me out, never asks me to dance, doesn’t do anything special anymore. He hardly even works and it has become my job to make sure he has a ride everywhere.
Please help me I just am feeling like this has gone to far, or I am in to deep, or something to that affect. Is there any advice on how to make this work or is it a lost cause?

[Anonymous]

Just in case you are wondering, some more background information case it helps with advice any:
he is 21 and I am 20 going on 21
He came to the same college that I chose
He has a very immature sense of humor majority of the time, and is over imaginative always off in his own little universe
I am not that physically attracted to him, I was drawn by his personality because we are very similar (we don’t or didn’t go out partying, we don’t drink, try to stay away from people who find themselves in trouble)
Our chosen professions that we aim for seem to lead in fairly opposite directions (in my opinion) I am going back to my home town to continue a family business in agriculture and he has no idea what he wants to do but is getting a business degree

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I think you’ve outgrown your first boyfriend and you’re staying with him because breaking up and moving on alone is daunting. You’ve described way too much you don’t like about him, and I think if you’re honest with yourself, you really want me to tell you to break up with him. Well, here’s your gift for the day! 😆 It’s time to break up and move on. You’re at a stage in your life when you’re ready to graduate college soon and move back to your home town to pursue your career in agriculture. That’s going to be the perfect time to start dating other men so you can get a better sense of yourself and what you want in a relationship. First boyfriends and girlfriends are hard to move on from, but I think you’re going to have an easier time of it than most because you’ve given this relationship a very fair shot; you’re very clear about what you don’t like; and you know deep down that if you stay with him he’s just going to irritate you more and more until you get bitter or behave badly. So do the right thing (for both of you) and understand that this relationship has run it’s course.

[Member]

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