[lena200818]

When my boyfriend and I first got together I was 18 and crazy. He claimed he hadn’t ever watched porn, but I got him to watch it with me, we would watch to learn different positions and anything else we could learn. After 20 I was no longer interested in porn, as it seemed to not be teaching us anything new anymore, but more of him looking at the girls and me feeling uncomfortable. I don’t know if maybe this is because I weight 15 pounds more now, than I did when I was 18 or what. Now everytime I get dressed up sexy and try to seduce me boyfriend, as soon as I go down on him, he grabs the laptop and starts watching porn and if we’re in bed and the laptop’s not around, he says I wish we had some porn videos. I don’t know if it’s just me, if I’m over reacting, or if this is really becoming a problem. I feel like I can’t turn him on anymore, that he has to see the beautiful women in the videos to want me… It would be different if he watched it on his own time, but he doesn’t, he has to watch it everytime we have sex, and if I’m in bed, he’ll watch porn to get hard and then come wake me up, but a few hours before when I was awake, I was kissing his neck rubbing his body all over, and it didn’t even phase him. I don’t get it. I’m open to anything, so if it’s just that he wants to try something new, he know all he has to do is ask. Yesterday while he was at work I recorded a strip tease video for him, it was about 2 minutes long, and I must say I was quite please when I saw how I look from behind in the video, I have a nice body almost just like the porn stars, only difference is I don’t have fake breast. I emailed him the video and told him to watch it before he got home, sent him a cute picture and told him I’d be waiting for him. When he got here I was in a short dress, no panties, legs spread, and high heels. And ya know all he said to me is, what would you say if I said I didn’t feel like doing it right now???? I said “that’s fine”, but are you kidding me how much more do I have to throw myself at you to feel attractive. I saw that he deleted the video I emailed him and I asked if he watched it and he said “yeah only about 30seconds of it though, there wasn’t any music so it was boring.” I guess somewhere between the email the sound didn’t work on the video, but he didn’t even get to see me strip. I don’t get it, if he wants a nice enticing video, that’s fine, but if I gave him one and he didn’t even watch it, then I feel like he only wants to see the girls in the porns, what’s the point in me even being here? I don’t feel attractive at all and it depresses me. By the way, I’m now 21 and things have been like this for a while and I have asked why he likes to watch it and he says to get hard for you, but then when I ask if I don’t turn him on anymore, he says of course you do, you’re beautiful, but wont even look at me. Is he even attracted to me anymore?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like your boyfriend has a pornography addiction. 😳 He’s dependent on it to have sex, based on your description that he only gets aroused when pornography is involved, and he brings it into the bedroom when you are having sex every single time. Your instinct that something is wrong, is correct. I’m not sure if he has addiction tendencies in other parts of his life or if his family has any tendencies towards addiction, but it sure sounds like he does.

My advice is that you let him know that you don’t want pornography in the bedroom — or your relationship — any more, and that it’s not because you have a problem with pornography, but because you want to know what’s going on between the two of you without this third entity in the relationship. If he can’t be in a relationship without the pornography, then this problem is something he’s going to need enormous strength to overcome, and possibly medical help.

Let me know how it goes, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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