[totlmeltdown]

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The girl I wanted to marry left my life in 1993. I moved to Tx in 93 and she moved to NM with her family later that year and we continued the relationship. I went to see her and asked her to marry me. Her family didn’t think it was a good idea then and asked that we wait. We wanted to be together….. Anyhow, it got to the point that when i called she wasn’t home, etc…. I finally stopped calling thinking she didn’t want anything to do with me. I later found someone and started a relationship. It ended in 2001 but we were off and on (short break-ups) many times during that duration. We finally give up in 2001 and after that I got a phone call from my mother saying some girl had called looking for me a week or so ago. She left a number to call back but didn’t leave a name. Wondering who on earth it was I called the number and said who i was and that someone had called looking for me. Immediately that person hung up on me. I called back because I realized who it was. I recognized her voice. It was her, she had been looking for me for some time and never could find me but finally found my parents. We talked for several days and I decided I would go see her. She lived almost 500 miles away but we wanted to see each other after talking about what happened back then and the truth came out. It was her parents that were keeping us apart. All the feelings i had came rushing back so fast when we talked about what happen back then. We continued talking after I left but neither one of us pursued the other. I had doubts, not just because I had just gotten out of a relationship but because of the distance between us and that is moreless what happen to us the first time. She also had 3 kids and I knew she couldn’t just up and move away nor could I just pack up and go because there was nothing around the area for me to find a job. Anyhow, we sort of faded out again when she found someone locally and I the same in 2003. We talked about the people we were with and so forth. It was nice having someone to talk too although I really wanted to be with her. Just recently I get a message on Facebook from her. She had been looking for me for 3yrs, she had gotten married to the guy she met when we were talking and I had done the same. Her marriage ended last Oct but she moved back in with the guy for all the wrong reasons and regrets doing so. My marriage is on the edge of the cliff right now because of my wifes cheating on me. I find it very weird that this girl, the girl i wanted to marry a long time ago, the girl that was the love of my life back then has managed to look me up twice. the strange part is her timing. Both times were when my relationships were ending. My marriage hasn’t officially ended but it is so damn close. Is this a sign or something? Should we both just give in to each other and try starting something again. Both of us are not big on change. I just think something keeps bringing us back together. I sometimes think that we are one of those couples that will go through life misrealable and finally end up getting together when we are in our 50’s or 60’s and live the rest of our lives togther. But why should we wait that long?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Hold on, cowboy! As far as I can tell, you’re still married, so the first thing on your plate is your marriage. If you want to stay married, then you have to commit to working on that marriage. If you want to divorce, then get divorced before you start pursuing a single mother of three in another state. 😕

It’s very normal for people to wonder about those from the past, as you and your ex-girlfriend have done. But it’s also normal for each of you to have changed in the decades since you were once in love. My advice is to wait until you’re divorced, if that’s what you decide to do in your marriage, before you even consider visiting your ex-girlfriend. At that time, you should take it slow and get to know each other as you are now, and not as fantasy lovers from the past.

I hope that helps.

[tom_1980]

i think in ways you are right April… but if he still love her and she love him they should try to find a way…
if his wife is cheating on him and dosent love him or he dosent love her why to try to fix it?… and end the ned she was searching him… and i think that is a sight…good luck man…
its a sad story..hope you will find your luck

[April Masini, your AskApril]

I’m not suggesting he[i] not[/i] pursue this other woman. I’m suggesting that before he does, he takes care of business first. 🙂 If he wants to be single and date, then he should [i]get[/i] single! If he wants to stay married, then he should work on his marriage. In other words, first things first. Single or married — his choice! Pick one and proceed. 😉

[Member]

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