[DontKnowWhatImDoing0]

I’m new to the site so i’m just going to get right into this.

Last weekend (Thanksgiving weekend) i went out with this girl in my class (im 16 just so you know). We have been friends for about 3 months and i really like her, she is eassy to talk to and the question was so eassy to ask(unlike other times i have asked out a girl). I was a little timid at first because I could see that she and another guy where starting to get into a relationship, but she ashured me that it wasnt a problem (this was sort of a friends/trying to judge if she like me enough to date me, outing). Before this i could see that she liked me she always laughed at my jokes (if they where funny or not), i could see her looking at me from acrose the room, and she hung out with me as much as she could. So when the date comes (Saturday) i meet her at the ice rink, we skate for about an hour and a half than grabed a quick bit at Jack in the box. once the day was over she told me she had lots of fun and we should do it again some time than she gave me a hug (she told me to give her a hug just for clarrification) and we left.
Now comes the weird part, on Sunday i went on Facebook and i saw that she was now dating the other guy, to say the least i was a little hurt but i accepted it and decided that i want to still be her friend and i might have a chance when they break up. But when i went to school on monday she wouldnt talk to me or really look at me. when ever she looks at me now she gives me a weird look and dosnt say a word. I dont know if it has something to do with the date (If she said she liked it and really didnt), or something diffrent.
I dont know what went wrong and its bugging the hell out of me, i cant seem to get this girl out of my head. Like i said i want to keep this girl as a friend (and posible girlfriend) but i dont know how to with out closing the gap to fast (i mean gap as in close friend, to not talking anymore, back to friend/close friend again). thanks for taking the time to read this and help.
(sorry for the wall of text and any errors i made in this post). Thanks once again.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like the date went really well, but she got involved with another guy after the date, or more likely, he was someone with whom things were brewing and by the time you saw her FB announcement, they had culminated in a sort of dating relationship. But your real question to me is, are you now phased out of her life as a potential date.

You’re very good at reading the signs and doing the right thing when it comes to dating — a lot more than many men twice your age! — so I have confidence in your dating life. What men come to realize is that competition is a big part of their lives when it comes to work, sports — and women! Winning her over is a game and you had a good round one with a setback because of something someone else did. Now it’s time to make your next move. 😉

My advice is to continue to pursue her, and even ask her out on another date. Ignore the FB announcement. If she doesn’t tell you herself, let it go. If she turns you down for the date because she’s committed to this other guy, then you can begin to move on (and live well — and big!! — so she doesn’t lose sight of you and wishes she’d chosen you over this other guy). But there’s a chance she’s “playing the field” which is a dating process that’s pretty much lost on many high school students because they’re with each other in such confined quarters for four years. When you get into college and then the real world, there’s more privacy so if you or she were dating other people to make a decision about whom you want to get serious with, not everybody is in your business. But high school prevents challenges to that process. That said, I think you can handle this one.

Let me know how things go, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

[confusedandinlove]

New to site, not sure where to post. I have a problem with my boyfriend (well ex right now). He is 25 i just turned 29, he is jewish just moved from israel and has never dated a non-jewish girl. This freaked him out a bit in the beginning of our relationship but we talk about marriage and me converting and so forth. We have been together almost one year. We’ve had our problems but nothing i didnt think we could work out. A couple of months ago he tells me his friend from israel is coming to visit and tells me i will meet her. The day she arrives i tell him to txt me later so we can meet up, around the evening i see he posted a picture of this girl in her bathing suit on his facebook. I get really mad at him thinking its inappropriate, he tells me i took it the wrong way. I later come to find out they did not hang out alone, but later that night a group of the went out dancing and of course i was not invited since we had this fight. He subsequently goes out with her the next night. I let him know my displeasure but he insists they are only friends. Last night we have a fight and it comes out he was “leaving his options open” because he thought i was doing the same. He stated he could of “had this girl” but that he chose me. He now insists that he loves me and didnt flirt with her and that obviously nothing happened. This is all very disturbing to me, i take it that he lied to me about who this woman was. Put himself in a “high risk” situation and jeopardized our relationship. He kept talking to her for the rest of the week pretty often when she went on a cruise and when i brought it up he said it was because she was going to come back in town. When she came back in town he almost met up with her and her friends again until i made a big deal of it (he says he didnt invite me because the all speak hebrew and he didnt want me to feel left out). When i told him it was not a valid excuse he invited me along. I said i could not go, so he ended up not going either. He later posted pictures of her and her friends on his fb but hid the fb album from me. One day he was surfing his fb with me sitting right next to him and i saw this album. We got in a fight, he says it was harmless (the pictures werent bad, but they were of this girl and her friends) and that he thought i would get jealous and mad. We’ve had a few fights over some of his female friends, nothing really significant. Is this all a deal breaker? He seems really sincere that he’s sorry over everything but i just dont know if he’s trustworthy anymore. Am i reading the situation accurately?

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Please start a brand new thread for your question. I’d love to answer it, but this thread is for the person who first posted here. 😀

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