[Anonymous]

I have this guy friend who I’ve GROWN UP with, known him for 17 years and I’m thinking maybe there’s some mixed signals here?
He is always sh*t stirring me when we do catch up (I do the same), but that is how we are personality wise, we both LOVE to stir the pot.

I suggested catching up for a drink about a month ago now (I thought it was a simple, low key thing to do) but he doesn’t drink and he said he did want to catch up- but something fun like ten pin bowling or mini golf. I’m fine with that, they are good fun, but they’re more of a group activity I think. Maybe a group activity is good for starters though?

Before that I asked him to come to a night out with a bunch of netball girls that I knew after a dinner one Saturday night, I thought it would be good for him to meet some girls. I said they’d be looking pretty good and he seemed to like the idea of that. I then jokingly asked him “what about me, don’t I look hot?” I immediately said I was joking but he didn’t say anything and may have went a bit red in the face. I’ve been single for a LONG time, and I jokingly said to him I’d go out and try and hook up with a guy after the dinner. In the end he couldn’t make it, but first thing Monday morning he sent me a text asking “how did Saturday go, did you pick up?”

A week or so after that we caught up again, he came into my workplace to buy some things (he does occasionally) and because I’d nearly finished my shift, I told him to wait outside so we could catch up. He probably waited at least 15 minutes and the temperature was maybe seven degrees outside. Now he may have went to his car for a bit, I don’t know, but from what I’ve been told most guys wouldn’t wait for that long in very cold weather.

A couple of weeks after that, we caught up again.
He was bagging out my laugh a LOT when we went to catch up, so I asked him why he does it- and he said because I’m easy to bag out and because my younger brother apparently started it years ago.

Also asked why he wanted to know if I picked up or not after the dinner, and he said it was because I said I’d try to (I did say I was joking at the time and I told him that today). Then he said “you’re not into that anyway” or something like that (I did tell him after wards that pick ups aren’t my thing).

I also asked if there were any girls that he worked with or went sailing with that were available and he said they’re all either taken, too old or just don’t go there because you work with them.
I then said to him “here’s a tip- if you LIKE a girl, MAKE A MOVE!” (I meant in general) and he said “what sort of move? Move over here? Move out of my way?” Obviously he’s joking and not taking it seriously!
He did ask me if I liked anyone atm, not sure why?

I sent him a message asking about going to play mini golf and I said that I was at home sick with gastro, so now probably wasn’t the best time. He didn’t answer the question but said “get well soon” which was nice. He messaged me the next day asking how I was and if I was back at work, didn’t picture him as the type to do that.

I sent him a message a few days later asking about the plan for mini golf and I also asked who was the girl that he liked. Got one back saying “Will not tell you who I like because every time I tell people the word gets back to them (the girl) and they say ‘no, get stuffed’ and I don’t like that”.
I replied back with “That really sucks, I know the feeling all too well. Do I know them? I can try and find out for you if you want? All I want is a guy with a good sense of humour and a guy who likes me for who I am. You deserve someone who likes you for who YOU are”.

He responded back with: “Who am I then? Who would be good for me?” Not quite sure what he means in that first question?
I said: “I don’t know, how many girls do you know? All I want is a guy with a good sense of humor and who likes me for me, maybe that’s too much to ask? Put it this way, I wish there were more guys like you out there. I think you could make a girl VERY happy if you found the right one”.

So last Tuesday was VERY interesting. Last Monday I sent him a message asking if he was up for mini golf this weekend just gone, and I said my younger brother and his girlfriend (who the guy knows pretty well) were keen to go. His response was “Such and such can come if they want, I’m free on Saturday but not Sunday I think. Haven’t seen your brother for ages”.

I sent one back saying Saturday was fine and I told him to come into my workplace Tuesday or Wednesday so we could sort it out. He came in later Tuesday and a few people noticed him looking at me in some of the aisles (I work in a supermarket) and I noticed him doing it twice. I served him and asked if he could wait 15 minutes because that’s when I finished work. He did, and we talked for 15 mins or so even though he had to go sailing, and we made basic plans for Saturday- he WOULDN’T tell me who he liked… why?
I’d like to THINK that he SHOULD feel comfortable telling me those kind of things/trusting me because we’ve known one another for so long, but I don’t know???
I said it might be hard for me to get to mini golf on Saturday, he offers me a lift 🙂

So last Saturday we went to play mini golf with some friends. Plenty of talking in the car, but we’re mates so that’s to be expected. I was the brunt of the majority of the jokes because I’m crap at mini golf. So plenty of bagging me out but that’s how he is.

Couple of funny/strange moments though- at the last hole my brother’s girlfriend told me my score was 79 (bad I know) and he said something like “it’s not 69” WTF?! Then earlier he hit me in the back of my leg twice with his club- once when I was taking a shot and when I was walking up stairs, why is he doing that?

When he dropped me off I said to him “take my advice and ask a girl out, otherwise you’re not going to ever know. He then said something like “why don’t you do the same thing?” (I’m QUEEN of liking someone but not doing anything about it). I said at the same time, “I reckon you’d make a good boyfriend”. Not sure what he thought, because I think he turned it into a joke by saying “what for, 5 minutes?” My response: “That’s long enough, hahaha”.

Is there something going on here, or is he just being a typical old friend?
Thanks heaps for the advice, apologies that it is long!

[AskApril Masini]

You both like each other and you’re sending him wildly mixed messages by flirting with him yourself, and then telling him that you’ll introduce him to some nice girls he can ask out.

YOU have to decide what YOU want. If you want him to ask you out, then you have to stop suggesting he date other women. You need to read Think & Date Like A Man, that you can purchase on Amazon.com or at Barnes & Noble or at this link: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url]. This book will help you understand how to behave in a way that will get him to ask you out. It’s straightforward expert dating advice, and you’ll get a tremendous amount out of it, so get the book and read it.

I hope that helps, and that you’ll follow me @AskAprilcom as well as on Facebook at: [url][/url]. 🙂

[Anonymous]

Thankyou very much for your response April. I do like him, I’m happy being friends, as we have been for many years, but he is the type of guy that I would love to date. So I guess you could say I want to date him if it works out that way. I’ve never had a proper boyfriend, so I really don’t know how to go about it. I’m generally not a risk taker, especially not in a situation like this because we’ve been friends for so many years.

I apologize for any ignorance here April, but how am I flirting with him and what are the signs that make you think he likes me? I’m the type who has been known to flirt with guys and I thought I was just having a friendly conversation with them.

Cheers.

[AskApril Masini]

Everything you’re asking me is in the book I suggested you get in my last post to you. It’s called Think & Date Like A Man, and it’s a GREAT book for you to read now — especially since you’ve never had a proper boyfriend, as you put it. It will let you know what his body language means — and how to get him to ask you out. It’s going to explain everything about successful dating, so get it and read it!

Here’s the link to buy it: [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url].

[Anonymous]

Unfortunately I don’t have a credit card and I don’t like asking to borrow other people’s cards either.
I am thinking we are just friends (which is fine) as I told him to message me during the week about catching up and a week later, he hasn’t. I’ve sent him two messages and he hasn’t responded to either one.

[AskApril Masini]

Use Paypal and your bank account to get the book, or give someone cash in exchange for their ordering the book for you. It’s going to help you with your questions. I promise.

[Member]

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