[yuki]

I met this guy at a party during my freshman year. He was cute, sociable, and flirty with me but also drunk at that time. I developed a crush on him because he was the first one to take interest in me. We became facebook friends, but because of our different schedules, group of friends and lifestyle, we never got to truly hang out despite me being good friends with his best friend/housemate. In terms of personality, we are complete opposites. I’m pretty quiet, studious, and shy while he’s outgoing, and very much playerish. The only times I actually got to see him were at parties every once in awhile, where we just say hi and hug. I never had a real conversation with him since after the first party.

During my second year, I tried really hard to get over him. Not seeing him for a lot time helped with that process. I hooked up with other guys. But school just started again, and I’m seeing him around more often at parties and so my crush on him is back. At the last party, we did up dancing with each other. There is some obvious physical attraction between us, but we can never talk to each other normally. Our conversation the other day went like: “Hey,*hug* how have you been?!” and “Same old, same old.” For other guys, I can talk and even flirt with them but with him, my mind just draws a blank. I realized that everytime I see him, my eyes focus only on him and I never remember or realize who is standing next to him. I am constantly thinking about him.

What should I do? Am I imagining that there is something between us and try to talk to him, or should I just stop and try to get over him again?

[AskApril Masini]

It sounds like you need some tips on making conversation since neither one of you are that experienced. What you’ve described to me are one liners that don’t require much of a response. Instead of just commenting or asking mundane questions (“How are you?”) which usually just get a pat answer, ask him something you really want to know about! Some examples are: “How are your classes going?” And then follow up with, “What are you taking this year?” Then ask him, specifically, about one of them. Or you can go off of academic topics and ask him about his dorm situation or where he’s from and how often he gets back home. See where this is going? It’s building a conversation. 😉

If he doesn’t seem to want to converse with you, then you’ve got someone who isn’t that interested. But more likely, you both need some experience in conversing with people you’re interested in dating. The conversations aren’t just a way to connect — they’re a way to get to know each other.

I hope this helps. Let me know how it goes, and please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url]. 😀

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