[phillip09]

My name is A and I have a twin sister name B. I’ve been dating a man R on and off for 6 six years. A month ago I had abortion. I was pregnant with R’s child. I didn’t tell him at first I did it. My mother and B told everyone they could to change my opinion. They said every thing they could about R. Thoughout this time I felt he did something. Eventually I found out. Yet I still think it’s more. I still look at him the same. I lost my virginity to him. This is the only man I ever been in love with. He is just my everything. When I was younger I suspected he cheated on me. Yet I didn’t say anything. He just recently told me he did. I was a fucking virgin and yet I wasn’t good enough. I still stayed…we broke up. He left to another state with another woman. He told me he wasn’t doing anything before he left to that other state. Thoughout that he was with her. And kept me around. And till I found out he was doing something. I tried to move on with my life. When I told him he said I cheated on him. Which at the time I did think I did. However him having a baby with this woman and what I know to today I never cheated on him. He has some problem with believing I belong to him. This is all to sum up the fact that he has history of cheating and thinking with his dick. Honestly I am hurt and I’m done with being the sad one. I’m done with saying “Dam R that’s fucked up”. I stayed up the whole night thinking about what just happened. I don’t trust no one. Not even him and my heart for the first time is feeling like giving up. Me and R are at a point that is if we don’t trust each other what are we doing. R knows every sexually counter from down to a kiss I had expect me being rape. I am not ready to talk about it with him. I am not ready to tell anyone because when I did tell, I was told I was lying. R already believes I am liar. I am not dealing with that. But I say this because there is nothing I feel like I had to hide because I was ashamed. But yet I am still lying to him. SO back to the main point…I told him yesterday I found naked pictures of B. He said let me see. This made me immediately remember why I fought my sister B for. She never admitted it to me but I heard b say she kissed R. She said this to one of our close friend at the time. The day that I asked b about it she said nothing happened. When I then asked my other friend did you hear this she then in return told me to ask b. So off that I hit her because I felt like she was lying. After that B didn’t say nothing to our friend about it. I asked him about it and he said no. I past it behind. My sister has never given me a complete explanation as to why she feels like I chose R OVER HER. It then hit me to when she said R looks cute. (R gained weight before and that’s when I started liking fat boys. He was slimmer than before what he is now. But after that I started feeling fat boys then B stared to. I was telling B that fat boys are the s!@#) So when she said this I said simply said yea I know I like him this way better. B then tried to look more. And held my phone so she wouldn’t see. I said all this because I know she does like him. After I got off the phone with R..I asked B what happened she still couldn’t answer. I feel right now like B is lying more than him. But then again I feel like shit because when he told me about the conversation, he said he smiled at her advances. Before I kill both of them as well as my mother, I think I should just get away from everyone before I hurt them. I planned on moving to another state with R. I can’t believe him. He doesn’t see how embarrassing it is if didn’t get that far. And of course he could he say were twins. I know I am a good girlfriend. I am tired of being of being the the sad one. Maybe I need to fall back and get me together. Maybe I not good enough for him. Anything I could do for him I would. What’s wrong with me. I am a liar to him. If I say here I wouldn’t be able to live with my mother or B. I need to leave I’m not going to feel like I AM not Good enough for him. I feel betrayed by my mother and B because if they couldn’t tell me something this little they did with him how the hell I am suppose to trust them if I have him around.

[April Masini, your AskApril]

How old are you and how old is R?

Does R have one child with this other woman in another state? Any other children?

[phillip09]

R is 24 and i am 20 he has one child thats now lives in nyc with him now they use to live in utah

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Okay, thanks for the extra information.

It sounds like this guy, R, has a history of cheating, and sure enough, he’s cheated on you. If you stay together, it’s a pretty good bet he’ll cheat on you again. People who do something over and over have to have a reason to stop. He doesn’t have one. 😳 I know you think that this is about you, and that if you were different or better, he wouldn’t cheat on you, but if he’s a chronic cheater, this has nothing to do with you. He cheats because he doesn’t want to be monogamous. The sooner you accept this about him and stop hoping he’ll change or trying to change him, the sooner you’ll realize he’s not a good match for you.

I know you’re attached to him because he was your first, but try to use your head and not your heart. He’s not compatible. You want someone who is going to be loyal, and he’s not that guy. If you continue dating him or holding out hope he’ll change, you’re putting yourself in a bad situation that will only lead to more heartache. So take responsibility for what you do know, as of today, and move on.

As for your problems with your mother and sister, this seems like a really good time for you to get a job and your own apartment or an apartment with female roommates so you don’t have to be part of any unpleasantness that usually comes when adult children live with their parents, but want freedom and privacy. You’ll be a lot happier with your life outside of your mother’s house. 😉

Sometimes one door closes and another one opens. Use this unpleasantness to change YOUR life for the better. 😉

I hope that helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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