[Mickey123]

Hello April,
I would like to ask about my sister’s problem. My sister had a love marraige the boy approached her was after her 2 years but her inlaws never liked her. Now due to certain unwanted circumstances they have been separated 8 months. At first she believed he will come down one day to take her but he didn’t then she got impatient and called him cried to him begged him to take her he didn’t. They had certain problems which were relating to both their families and also my sister’s husband had anger related problems he used to loose control and throw things and create a row when my sister was living with him also abusing her over little issues. Hence my sister’s parents and us tried to solve the problem as we wanted assurance she will not get hurt by him and whatever problems were there could be solved but there was always negative response from their side. The guy asked my sister to come down if she wanted after 4 months of their separation and my sisters constant effort. Then his parents told us they would meet us and solve the problems So my sister got very assured that all will be well problems will be solved then she would go to him but they never gave the time when they would wanna meet us and talk even though we seeked for the same they delayed it constantly. We all had decided let us first solve the problem then my sister can go to his place as his behaviour wasn’t reasonable. But when we saw they had been just extending the time and not willing to meet and solve the problem my sister got tensed and said she wants to go to him and be with him so we took her to her husband’s place. My sister had informed her husband she is coming to him with her family to talk. We reached there during night time. However when reaching the place my sister decided it would be best if she goes alone to talk to him and hence she did. But her husband wasn’t alone his father was there with him. Her husband and her father inlaw refused to talk to her stating they had filled for a case of judicial separation and she would receive the notice shortly when she said she was his wife and she had come down to stay as this was her house her father in law started threatening her that if she tries to forcefully stay he would call the police. After this getting hurt my sister left and from outside called her husband to come down and visit her outside as she wanted to speak to him alone. But he refused and said if i want i can come back in again and talk then over phone she asked i have come to stay with u forever hearing this he said he wouldn’t tell her what he wants but she can stay the night till next morning so she could catch a train to go back in the morning. After series of call in intervals for next hour my sister again went to his house to talk to him but his dad didnt allow to let her talk to him alone neither was her husband willing to talk alone to her. Then she asked several questions to him regarding his behaviour and as to what he wants but he refused to agree to the things first which he had done next he refused to talk and said the court will do justice so we should meet there. She came back and now we are searching for a lawyer. One friend lawyer who deals with a different matter told us we should let her go to the husband and try by staying with him as she is still his wife he has no rights to throw her out. But we are all scared as to what to do as her husband’s behaviour is bad and if we loose her or if he harms her what we will do then we don’t know. My sister keeps crying and is under depression as well. She some days cries and fights with us to let her go to her husband’s place and some days she gets very angry on her husband and says she wants justice she wants him punished she prays to god to help her out. Please suggest what should we do.

[AskApril Masini]

It sounds like your brother in law doesn’t want to be married to your sister, and has begun legal proceedings to divorce. It would be a good idea if your sister accepts the rejection and moves on with her life.

If you do write back, let me know how old they are and how long they were married.

[Mickey123]

I’m 24 years old. I don’t seem to like my brother inlaw anymore he has done more than enough to hurt my sister but i care for her so im quiet as it is a question of her life and want things to get solved. My sister was married only 5 months after which these things happened. Her husband was very much in love with her but they had problems before marriage as well due to her father in law. And during the separation period he was constantly being visited by his father and his relatives are also teaching him wrong things. But astonishing is the fact that why he behaved this way constantly with my sister. My sister believes it is the father in law and his near relatives who have played the role of breaking the marriage. Even so, if she somehow earns back her place we are scared his father and relatives will try to again break the marriage. Also while they were in separation of 6 months they had a conversation whole night over texts where after some arguments they kept exchanging I love You’s and I love you more’s. . So she is confused what is going on. We then have told her that if she even wants him back going through court would be better but since he is the only son of his father his father would forever stay between them. Now what we thought maybe that whenever we will go to court if we maybe request the court to let them spend time alone and also to spend time for a few days with each other’s inlaws and try to amend the relation between them so some future we can see. But all this is soo messy tomorrow Im taking my sister to my grandfather’s place where my another sister and uncle’s and aunt’s who all love her a lot are there, so we can comfort her down. My sister when asked you are giving me a divorce when she had visited him he explained it’s not a divorce go and google it down. So we come to understand it means staying under one roof as friends not sharing a bed. IS it so April??
Also we haven’t yet got the notice even though he said you would get it in few days. It’s been like 12 days yet no notice has arrived. We are trying to find out if he was only threatening us or if he has really filed the same.

[AskApril Masini]

How old is your sister and her husband — not you! 😉

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