[Jaycee512]

I have been dating this wonderful man for about 2 months. We were introduced by his best friend who is someone I also know. We had an instant connection and immediately started spending a lot of time together. We get along great and share many, many common interests, goals, and views on life. He was very eager for me to meet his friends and additionally he was very happy to meet my friends and family. He has even had dinner at my parents house on several occasions and gets along great with my family, especially dad. He works early so we generally wait until the end of the week to see each other. We have had about a month of sleepovers (weekends only due to his work schedule) but have only been intimate a couple of times. The last few times together he has not even tried anything with me which is making me feel unattractive. He falls asleep before anything begins. Over the last week and a half he has been a bit quiet as though something is going on in his head. He is not avoiding me or anything like that he is just a bit reserved. The fact that he has not tried to be intimate again is worrying me. We have not had a discussion about being exclusive. I don’t get the feeling he’s seeing anyone else but I don’t want to make any assumptions. I also don’t think he takes sex lightly because he shared with me that he has only been with one other person in the past 7 years. I feel at this point I need some verbal confirmation about how he feels and how serious this relationship is to him. I understand it’s only been about 2 months, however I’ve spent more time (very quality time) with him in 2 months than I have in past relationships that have been longer. I don’t want to scare him away but I want to know what is going on. Do you think it’s been enough time to bring this up or do I just go with it? I’m 37 and looking for more than a casual relationship. I truly feel this is a very special relationship and I don’t want to mess anything up. Please point me in the right direction and help me understand what he is thinking. Thank you!

[April Masini, your AskApril]

It sounds like you started off this relationship and moved pretty quickly. Meeting his friends and having had several dinners with your parents in just two months may have made him realize this relationship was on a fast track that he hadn’t really intended for it to be and he had gotten swept along. Now, he’s trying to slow it down so he can figure out how he really feels. He’s not doing this very gracefully, and you’re reacting to the sudden change.

My advice is not to bring this up and have “the talk”. Men HATE “the talk”. Rather, watch his behavior and you’ll find out how interested he is by how often he wants to see you and how he treats you when he does.

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