[bt88]

So Ive known this girl for 10 years. We have gotten physical in the past. She broke up with her boyfriend recently and told me shes had feelings for me for years. We go on dates, we get physical and everything is great. She did all the things you would advise against like calling me and texting me a lot but it didnt bother me. I did feel like she was kind of treating me as a “safety valve” but I enjoyed our time. We also had to keep it secret from our friends, so we had to shift the tone of our actions based on the situation.

Then the ex came back and told her that he cheated on her the entire time they were dating. She was crushed and distraught. She told me she didnt have the mental stability to deal with our relationship at the moment. Last week she left in the middle of us hooking up saying it was “too much.” I tried to take her to dinner and she said “I cant go on dates now it will mess things up.” I told her I understand she needs her space and will help her through it anyway I can but I still cared for her and would never hurt her. We hung out around our friends this weekend and she barely talked to me, almost felt like she was mad.

So within the course of two weeks and based on someone elses actions, I went from her and I really being into each other to her going stone cold. I want to give her her space but I dont want her to drift away. Im nervous Ill get burned for really no reason other than bad timing.

How do I give her her space but still keep me on her mind? With Valentines Day coming up do I do something for her or leave it alone? Can her feelings for me that shes held onto for so long really change that quickly?

[kai]

Hey, like i mentioned to several other posters — April has told everyone that [u]the welcome area is not to be used as the Q & A advice forum[/u]. [b]it says “DO NOT post your questions” here[/b], when you go to sign up. 😳

i suggest you [u]delete the questions you posted in the welcome forum[/u] and[u] repost them in the Q & A Relationship Advice Forum instead[/u].

[b]i doubt you’ll get a response to your question, from April. in the welcome area.[/b]

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Let me know how things are going for you? 😉

[Sally]

Two weeks ago she felt close and warm, and now she feels distant and cold. That whiplash messes with your head. It doesn’t mean she lied about her feelings. It means everything around her blew up at once, and she doesn’t know where to put any of it.

When someone says they need space, the best move is to actually give it. Not half-space. Not space with reminders. Real space. One calm message saying you care and you’re here, then you step back. No Valentine’s gesture. That would just add pressure, even if your heart’s in the right place.

Her feelings probably didn’t vanish. They’re just buried under shock and confusion. Let her breathe. If there’s something real here, space won’t kill it. Chasing might.
And protect yourself too. You matter in this, not just the timing.

[Nick Roy]

Hey bro, don’t worry, it’s not necessarily that your girlfriend wants to break up, she might just need some space too.
So you should give her space and make her feel that you are chill without her.
Being available all the time also devalues ​​you.
I think you should follow April’s advice to “Stop texting and calling her, and don’t chase her. She will come to you when you step back a little.

[Member]

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