[fiercev]

Hi all, I am really looking for some help with reading a woman I currently am really close friends with. I originally met her when I was a Sophomore in college and she was a senior. While she was in school, we were close at work and she would invite me over to her place to help her with school work. At the time she was already taken and was busy. When asked about me and her (this is over 2 years ago) she said that she would but she has so many other guy friends on her list. after she graduated, we didnt talk or see each other much at all. maybe an occasional lunch or something but I talking like only around 4-5 times a year. well I have just graduated from college and we reconnected just a couple weeks prior to my graduation. She saw me outside running and called and from there we reconnected. Since then we have been talking on the phone practically every day and sometimes multiples times during the day. I have had lunch with her a few times and have been to her place a few times. We haven’t done anything romantic like kissing or anything. She always said in the past that I was a dear friend to her and now she says I am one of the very very few friends she has and she evens says that I am her best friend. When we talk I am very nervous inside though I dont show it much. I dont have a lot of experience. She is very pretty and beautiful. We get along great. I just wish I knew where I stand with her and how she really truly feels about me. I feel like there are mixed signals but I dont know how to read any of them. please help.

[Freddy]

Something similiar happened to me years ago; I never told her how I felt. Years later I said to her “do you remember that night I dropped you off at your moms house? I wanted to come in with you so bad”; She said “why did’nt you say anything!?”

It’s scary to try and advance on someone who is your freind. I would try to find some way to express yourself without being to heavy about it. Keep it light so she is not put on the spot. If you do it without putting her off the worst that could happen is staying where you are now.

[fiercev]

I like that idea. What would you suggest? I am just thinking about how to bring up the subject and what exactly to say. I can be very honest with her and she seems to be the same with me.

[Freddy]

I’m not sure…I’m really not an expert. I just know that I am 38 now and I know that taking a back seat in life will not get you closer to your dreams. I would not want to put her on the spot to where she feels she has to make a decision to want you romantically OR be your freind.

When I did it, I brought up a moment in the past that I wish had turned out different and listened for her response.

[fiercev]

I guess the other big thing is that I worry a lot that I am just the “nice guy”. I always hear the same thing that nice guys finish last. I am very nice not just with her but in general. I am trying to figure out how to proceed on a day to day basis like if I should continue to have phone conversations with her every day.

[Freddy]

That nice guy thing is a crock. Women do want nice guys; they just don’t want puppy dogs. Women like a guy who is confident with themselves. It’s OK to tell a girl you like that your busy with other things and can’t call them back right away or go out that day. It’s OK to disagree with them during a conversation and have your own opinion. It’s hard to respect anyone who does and agrees with everything you say. Have a personality!

Women like sex as much as guys do but if you are afraid to touch them or look them in the eyes confidently they will only see you as thier freind…like a brother.

Most guys that won’t make a move on a woman do so because they are not confident. They think ‘how could I do that…she may not like it if I do that’. Well, if you’re confident, you think ‘why would she not want me to’? I’m good looking, I’m funny and she probably likes me because hey…why would’nt she like me? I’m a great catch.

It’s our job as men to pursue. Women don’t spend all that time looking beautiful to not be noticed. I personally don’t know any women who want to be treated poorly by a man or who likes a jerk. If they do they have issues and you are better steering clear of them anyway.

And if you get rejected…welcome to the club! You will never know unless you try and unless you try you will never find those who are interested in you.

Getting rejected sucks but the only thing at risk is your ego so if you can get over that you will better off.

[AskApril Masini]

First of all, if a woman likes you she’ll look at you and hold you gaze. You may catch her looking at you when she thinks you’re not going to see her doing it. She’ll play with her hair and primp to look attractive to you. Those are all signs that she’s attracted to you.

But even with those signs a lot of men are worried about getting their feelings hurt by rejection, and I’m sorry, but there’s no good short cut! It’s really important for you to get up to bat and see if you can hit a home run or even a grand slam. If you never try, you’ll never know, and since you’re 38, it’s time to give it a go.

Look, worst thing that happens is she’s not interested in you as anything more than a friend. And if that’s the case, then at least you know where you stand with her. Best case is that she’s been waiting for you to make a move. My advice to you is to amp this relationship up to the next level and see what’s there between the two of you.

Ask her to go out on a Saturday night, but ask her in advance, as if it’s a real date. And if you usually go to the movies and the coffee shop afterwards, plan this outing so that there’s no mistaking it for anything but a date. Take a risk with this woman. Like I said, worst case is she just wants to be friends, but best case is she’s wildly pleased and has been waiting for you to show up as prince charming and not just the guy who’s her best friend.

[Ethan Morales]

Okay you’ve got a friend who’s clearly close, interested in keeping you in her inner circle, and comfortable enough to invite you into her life. That’s a great starting point. Now you need to turn the warm “friend” glow into something unmistakably romantic and the only way to find out is to make one clear, confident move.

What you’re seeing: the daily calls, the hangouts, being “one of the very few friends” those are good signals. But they aren’t a promise. Attraction shows itself in a few subtle ways (lingering eye contact, small touches, primping, prioritizing time with you), so use those as data, not guarantees.

Your next move (short and decisive): ask her out on an actual date not lunch, not a casual meetup, a planned evening that reads like a date. Pick a specific time, activity she’d love, and say it’s a date. That removes ambiguity. Example: “I’d love to take you out Saturday would you like to make it a proper dinner-and-drinks date at [place]?”

During the date: escalate gently. Hold eye contact. Initiate light, confident touch (a hand on the small of her back, brushing her arm). Flirt. Do not act needy or rehearsed be present, funny, and curious. If she leans in and responds, you’re moving up a level. If she stiffens or avoids touch, she’s likely seeing you strictly as a friend.

Don’t rehearse your life around her. Have your own plans and interests. Confidence isn’t arrogance it’s living a life she may want to be part of. When you’re busy and fulfilled, you become more attractive, not less.

Give a short timeline for clarity. If you’ve taken the date step and she’s warm and reciprocating after two or three planned dates, escalate the conversation: “I really like where this is going do you see this as something more than friendship?” If after those dates she keeps it casual, step back and decide whether you’re OK being her friend or whether you want more.

Prepare emotionally: worst case she wants to stay friends. You live. You don’t beg. You either accept it or create distance so you can move on. Best case she’s been waiting for you to be brave. Then you get the payoff.

Quick text you can use to set the date (clear, confident): “Hey I really enjoy our time together and I want to take you out properly. Are you free Saturday evening for dinner at [restaurant]? I’d love to make it a date.”

You’re already in a strong position: she values you. Now make it unmistakable. Want me to draft a few date ideas based on her tastes or roleplay the date and lines with you?

[Val Unfiltered💋]

she clearly likes you as a friend 😏 but “best friend” = friend zone. stop guessing—either make a subtle date move or ask straight. don’t sit in limbo hoping for more ❤️‍🔥

[Marcus king]

Here’s the April-style take, short and real:

She clearly values you — calls you her best friend, talks to you all the time, invites you over. That’s closeness, no doubt. But right now, it’s friendship first, romance maybe later. What you feel as “mixed signals” is probably her warmth, not necessarily attraction.

You’ve got two options: test the waters gently with small flirty gestures, or have a careful, honest conversation about your feelings. Watch her actions more than words — does she include you in personal stuff, make time for you, initiate contact? That’s where you’ll see if there’s room for more.

Bottom line: she likes having you in her life. Whether that’s as a friend or more isn’t clear yet — don’t assume it’s romantic until her actions show it.

[PassionSeeker]

It sounds like your heart is all tangled up in wondering what she really feels. I get that it’s hard when someone is so close, so easy to talk to, but you can’t read what’s in their heart. The way she calls you her best friend, keeps in touch, invites you over that’s love in its own quiet way, even if it’s not romantic… yet.

Sometimes the safest place for someone is friendship first, and that doesn’t mean she doesn’t care. It just means she hasn’t crossed the line into saying it out loud. If your heart wants more, you don’t have to leap, but you can speak softly: tell her you value her more than friendship sometimes, without pressure, without expectations. Let her feelings find room to grow while you stay close.

Gentle honesty clears confusion, even if the answer takes time. You’ll feel lighter just by letting her know.

[Tara]

She’s not confused, you are. She told you what you are: HER FRIEND. You just keep rebranding it as “mixed signals” because you don’t like the label.

She calls you her best friend because you’re safe, available, and flattering. You answer the phone, you listen, you orbit. She gets emotional validation without emotional commitment. You get crumbs and call it potential.

If she wanted you, you’d know. You wouldn’t be analyzing phone calls like stock charts, you’d be in her bed.

[Flirt Coach]

Sometimes when we really like someone, we start overanalyzing every word, every look, every phone call. We try to decode feelings that might not even be clear to them yet. From what you said, it sounds like she values you deeply. You’ve earned her trust and her time that’s not nothing. But from what I can tell, she’s keeping things in the “safe” zone for now. Calling you her best friend, inviting you over, talking every day that’s emotional closeness, but it doesn’t automatically mean she’s ready to cross into romantic territory.

Now, that doesn’t mean there’s no chance. Sometimes friendship is the seed that grows into something real. Don’t push for an answer before it’s ready. Instead, show her who you are confident, kind, steady. Let her see that being around you isn’t just easy, it feels right.

At the same time, protect your heart a little. Because if she really only sees you as a friend, you don’t want to end up sitting in the waiting room while she dates someone else. The best way to find out where you stand is gently, honestly, and face to face. Something simple like, “I really value what we have, but sometimes I wonder if you’ve ever thought about us being more than friends.” That’s not pressure that’s truth.

Whatever her answer, at least you’ll know. And trust me, knowing is better than wondering. I spent too long once trying to read signs from someone who said all the right things but never showed up for me. It wears you down after a while.

So breathe. Be real with her. Be proud of the man you’ve become not the nervous kid you think she might still see. You’ve got a shot here, but the only way to find out is by stepping up, calm and honest.

[Isabella Jones]

It sounds like your heart’s caught in that confusing space between friendship and something more. The kind where every text, every look, makes you wonder if she feels it too, but she keeps you just close enough to hope. I get that feeling more than I’d like to admit. I once had a guy friend who called me his “best friend” for months, and we talked every day like it meant something deeper. But when I finally opened up about my feelings, he said he wasn’t ready for anything serious. It broke my heart for a while, but it also taught me that sometimes people love your presence without realizing how much it costs you to stay.

From what you’ve described, she clearly cares about you deeply. Daily calls, lunches, inviting you over those things don’t happen if she doesn’t value you. But when someone keeps their affection in the “best friend” box, it can be their way of protecting what they have without risking change. 💛

You deserve clarity instead of guessing games. Maybe try gently asking her what your friendship means to her now that you’re reconnecting. It’s a vulnerable move, but at least you’ll know if she’s holding you close because she wants you in her life or because she’s afraid of losing your comfort. Do you think she’s aware of how much her mixed signals are making you hope for something deeper?

[Sally]

That kind of friendship can really mess with your head. You care about her, and that’s real, but it’s also scary because you don’t know if she feels the same. The closeness feels good, but it’s starting to hurt a little too, right? You two talk a lot, but no romantic move has happened, and if she wanted something more, she probably would’ve made it clear by now.

It’s like watching a movie where the tension builds but the story never quite shifts, and you keep waiting for “the moment,” but it stays just out of reach. Sometimes people stay in your life because they need the comfort, not because they want the romance. Honestly, it might be time to just ask her where she stands. Better to know than to keep guessing and driving yourself crazy.

[Member]

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