[*D*inB-More]

Hello April,
I need your advice on my current situation. I was dating this guy for about 2 months and for the most part, everything was going great. It looked like it was going to move in a serious direction which is something I have been ready for, for quite some time. About a month ago, I hadn’t heard from my guy in a few days but really didn’t think too much of it; we were comfortable not having to talk everyday. So I called him, and the conversation eventually led to him explaining that he did not want to pursue the relationship anymore and just wanted to be friends. He said he thought he was ready for a serious relationship, but wasn’t, and he wasn’t exactly sure of his feelings for me. Basically, he was really confused. Typical, right?

A few days later, he ended up coming over to talk about things; he really wanted to talk about the status of our relationship in person and not on the phone. I was devastated because I was really looking forward to seeing where the relationship was going to go, and I had really developed very strong feelings for him already, in fact, I still have very strong feelings for him to this day.

Long story short, we didn’t talk for about a week or two after he came over, and then I initiated contact. We ended up talking on the phone for a really long time and I expressed my desire to be friends and that I wanted him in my life, no matter what fashion. He was very glad to hear that I felt the same way he did, it seemed we were on the same page, and actually said he missed me and our “companionship”, and “relationship.” I did tell him that I still had strong feelings for him and that it was going to take time for me to be comfortable with “just being friends.” He understood and was okay with that.

A few days pass, and he texts me. We text back and forth, no big deal. The next day, he calls. The next day, he texts. The next day, he calls. The next day, he calls again. I don’t EVER recall a guy that is just a “friend” calling and texting this frequently in my entire life! The phone conversations feel just like old times, when we were dating, but without all of the lovey-dovey talk.

So, basically I’m wondering what’s going on here?! I have come up with all kinds of theories but none seem to fit exactly. The worst part of it is, my hope for us to be in a relationship again is growing more and more. I just don’t want to be heartbroken again. I truly feel like he is someone I could fall in love with and be with for the rest of my life. What should I do? Thanks!! 🙂

[April Masini, your AskApril]

You’ve put yourself in the friend zone. 😮

You dated for a couple of months and he realized you weren’t the one for him. This sometimes happens. He tried to let you down easily, but you didn’t want to accept it. Then, you crossed the line that I never advocate crossing: You said, let’s be friends. 😯

Now, you are. 😕 Only you’re trying to leverage a friendship with a guy you used to date and still want to date, into a relationship, and you can’t. In fact, you’re going to become more confused than ever because you’re getting all this attention from a guy you used to date, so you’re trying (unsuccessfully) to pretend that he wants to date you.

Believe me: If he wants to date you, he knows how to do it. He doesn’t.

My advice is you take yourself out of the friend zone, and only be friends with people who are true friends, not former boyfriends. And look elsewhere for someone to date. 😉

I hope this helps. Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

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