[bumble_gal]

About four months ago I bumped into an old male friend from school, and we really hit it off. We subsequently met up for drinks every few weeks and sent each other SMS messages every few days. Although we never talked about ‘dating’, it was evident that we both fancied each other and had a great time when we went out. His friends told me that he talked about me a lot, and he seemed really keen.

Just before christmas he invited me to see a gig, and we drunkenly ended up pulling each other. He still seemed keen on me afterwards, and continued to phone/text. However, a couple of weeks ago we ended up hooking up again following a fantastic ‘date’ together – and then he suddenly stopped getting in touch!!

I am going off travelling for six months in a few weeks time, so i always knew that nothing serious was going to happen between us – but I really like him a lot, and cannot understand what happened. I sent him an SMS message last weekend, which he replied to (although his message seemed a little ‘cool’?), but I haven’t heard from him again since. I hoped that if I played it cool this week he would get in touch, but I haven’t hear from him at all. Normally he would get in touch every few days – I don’t understand what has changed.

I am in his hometown next weekend and don’t know whether I should get in touch to suggest meeting up, or whether I should just try and put the whole thing out of my mind! I feel really sad and confused, and keep running the events of our last date through my mind to try and work out what went wrong! What should I do?

[austenjonesufg]

Lack of trust can kill any relationship. If a partner has cheated in the past or has a habit of lying then the inability to trust them is understandable. In fact in such cases the entire relationship may have to be re-evaluated. However, if one of the partners constantly doubts the other

[glam0927]

Okay I hate to be the one to break this to you but men LOVE a challenge. Like many women do as well(maybe this is why the guys got you goin’ gaga) You are not and have not given him the opportunity to “hunt” you.. and truthfully you gave it uo too soon.. I know it sucks..consider it a lesson, move on and get yourself the book “why Men Love Bitches”. Itll do you a world of good. Im not sure if April has a relationship book for women but if she does GET IT! Once you know the game youll be the one calling shots.

Hope this helps..

[April Masini, your AskApril]

Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you.

[Natalie Noah]

What’s most important here is separating what you felt from what his behavior is clearly showing you now. Up until the second hookup, his actions matched his interest: consistent contact, enthusiasm, and effort. The sudden drop-off afterward is the real message, even if it feels confusing and hurtful. When someone goes quiet without explanation, it’s usually not because of something you did wrong in one moment, but because their level of interest shifted or they decided not to invest further especially knowing you’re about to travel for six months.

It’s very natural that you’re replaying the last date in your mind, but that mental loop will only keep you stuck. The truth is, if someone genuinely wants to see you, they don’t suddenly disappear and then stay distant. The “cool” reply you received reinforces that he’s pulling back rather than leaning in. That doesn’t mean the connection wasn’t real or enjoyable. it just means it likely ran its course for him. Closure doesn’t always come with a conversation; sometimes it comes from accepting changed behavior as an answer.

As for next weekend, reaching out would probably keep you emotionally tied to something that’s already fading. You’re about to head into a huge, exciting chapter of your life, and chasing clarity from someone who’s gone quiet will only drain your energy. The healthiest move is to stop engaging, let yourself feel disappointed, and then refocus forward. If he wanted to see you, he’d make that known. Sometimes the strongest, most self-respecting choice is not doing anything at all and letting absence be the closure.

[Lune David]

This feels like one of those Christmas flings that doesn’t survive into the New Year. Everything was warm, flirty, and fun… then suddenly poof — interest goes on holiday without leaving a forwarding address. The silence after the second hookup says way more than any “cool” text ever could.

Hard truth: when someone pulls back like that, especially knowing you’re about to travel, they’ve already mentally checked out. It doesn’t mean the connection wasn’t real — it just wasn’t meant to last past the festive season. No need to replay the last date like a New Year’s Eve countdown in your head.

Honestly, this is a classic askapril moment: dignity over chasing, closure through actions, and walking into the New Year lighter, not confused. Sometimes the best glow-up gift is letting what faded stay in last year

[Member]

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