"April Masini answers questions no one else can and tells you the truth that no one else will."

Wife did nude modelling for a friend and has since changed

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  • #3492
    michaelmarst
    Member #101,578

    Two years ago my wife and i (we are both now 28) were at a friends party when we met a guy who we got on well with and he became a friend of mine. I knew he was a well paid photograher but it was only several weeks later that he told me he did nude photoshoots for erotic magazines, not particularily porn mags but he classed the shoots as tasteful erotica.

    He propostioned to my wife to consider being in one of his shoots, and she laughed it off at first but he told her he was serious. She gave it some thought and agreed to do one shoot for a magazine he did regular work for, which i was amazed she would agree to do it but she said it would be something to look back on in years to come.

    Well from that first photoshoot she has changed a lot. She told me she had loved it and wanted to do more, and he told her she had a great body and look and he could get her some work.

    In 2010 she told me she was having breast implants, which is something she had said in the past did not interest her, and i was shocked at the size she went up to. The photographer friend then suggested he became her agent because of his connections and she accepted his proposal, and the friendship that had been there pre boob job disapeared and i never heard from him and he told me because he was now my wife’s agent he didnt want a personal friendship anymore.

    Since the breast implants she is just another person completely, her ‘agent’ parades her around at parties and buys her and chooses the clothes she wears for them, and the photoshoots have become increasingly more erotic in taste..

    I just don’t know where all this is leading April. She quit her day job to do the modelling earlier this year and is away this week doing a shoot, her agent is there with her, but i text him prior to them leaving and told him i was concerned but he bluntly told me that he had big plans for her.

    I need some advice April.

    #20114
    AskApril Masini
    Keymaster

    I’m not sure if you’re the same person as [b]stevew[/b] or just someone who has a remarkably similar story, but here’s the advice I gave him [url]https://www.askapril.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=163967&p=174333#p174333[/url]. I’ve gotten similar stories posted here, and they all end the same way — with the wife leaving the husband after some nude modeling became a “gateway drug” for a different lifestyle — and a different romantic and sexual partner than the husband. Boudoir photographs as a gift for you and only you are a lot different than getting into the soft core porn industry — by a long shot! 😳

    The problem is between you and your wife. It really sounds like she’s on her way out of the relationship. I’m sorry — but there’s not a lot you can do except tell her what you want from her and the relationship and figure out where your lines in the sand are. A committed couple respects each other’s boundaries and values. If she doesn’t, then you’ve learned too late who she really is. If she’s crossed your lines in the sand, then the relationship will end. How it ends is up to you. 😳

    I hope this helps. Let me know how things go.

    Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

    #20385
    michaelmarst
    Member #101,578

    Hi April,

    I was avoiding dealing with my wife all week, burying my head in the sand hoping she will change back to the person she was. But i did speak to her yesterday about all of my concerns and worries about her. Initially she laughed them off and told me to speak to my ex friend, her agent, about her career, which was a ludicrous statement from her considering we are meant to be husband and wife.

    I asked her why she was acting differently with me nowaday’s, was it to do with him and did she have feelings for him, and she told me she was sorry but she liked him and they had grown a lot closer but it was since she had got more attention from modelling from men and she couldnt remain married to me anymore.

    #20329
    AskApril Masini
    Keymaster

    My advice is to accept that she’s leaving the marriage and get yourself a divorce. The sooner it’s over, the sooner you can move on with your life without her.

    I’m sorry for your pain — don’t prolong it. 😳

    Please follow me @AskAprilcom on Twitter and on Facebook at this link: [url][/url].

    #20270
    NeilPearson
    Member #103,344

    I agree… cut your losses and get out quick. You don’t need that kind of relationship in your life

    #32008
    AskApril Masini
    Keymaster

    Happy New Year! Let me know how things are going for you. 😉

    #46907
    Ethan Morales
    Member #382,560

    The husband’s story is fundamentally about a relationship losing balance emotionally, sexually, and in terms of power. His wife’s experience with nude modelling seems to have triggered a deep personal transformation, one that shifted her identity and priorities. For her, the modelling may represent empowerment, self-expression, or validation but for him, it represents loss, betrayal, and fear of where it’s leading.

    April’s point about “boudoir photos for you and only you” versus “soft-core erotica for an audience” is key. One is an intimate act within a relationship, a form of trust and connection. The other changes the dynamic completely, making her body and sexuality part of her public persona. That’s a massive shift that many relationships simply can’t survive unless both people have the same values about boundaries, privacy, and fidelity (emotional or otherwise).

    She also highlights something very insightful that this type of modelling can become a “gateway drug” to a new lifestyle. It doesn’t mean it has to, but in many cases it does, because the environment constant validation, exposure to new people, and sexual attention can fundamentally alter how someone views themselves and their partner. If her “agent” is now controlling her image, wardrobe, and professional life, it’s no longer about art or empowerment; it’s about control and objectification, ironically from someone other than her husband.

    From the husband’s side, he’s struggling with helplessness. He watched the change happen step by step each small decision (first shoot, implants, new agent, quitting her job) and probably hoped it was just a phase. But April’s right: by the time someone’s values and desires have shifted that far, the relationship has already transformed into something unrecognisable.

    #47087
    PassionSeeker
    Member #382,676

    Your wife’s modeling career has clearly transformed her emotionally, sexually, and in how she views herself. What began as a single “tasteful” photoshoot has evolved into a new identity and lifestyle that no longer aligns with your marriage. Each step the implants, quitting her job, allowing her agent to take control shows she’s moved further from the woman you knew and closer to someone living for external validation.

    April was right: this kind of modeling often becomes a “gateway” to a different life, and your wife has crossed that line. Her agent’s growing influence over her appearance, career, and choices only deepens your loss of connection and control. The truth is, her priorities have changed — and she’s told you as much.

    You can’t pull her back into the marriage she’s already emotionally left. The healthiest thing you can do is accept that she’s gone, protect your emotional wellbeing, and begin to rebuild your life. Staying will only prolong your pain. It’s time to let go, heal, and create space for a relationship where respect and loyalty still exist.

    #47139
    Marcus king
    Member #382,698

    Alright I’m going to speak to you straight, because this situation is already past the point of gentle advice.

    Here’s the truth you’re afraid to say out loud:

    Your wife didn’t just get a new job.
    She entered a new world one built on attention, validation, ego, and being desired.
    And the man who used to be just a friend has become her handler emotionally, socially, and possibly financially.

    And you?
    You’ve been phased out.

    Not because she hates you.
    But because she’s being rewired.

    #47272
    Val Unfiltered💋
    Member #382,692

    oh babe… she didn’t just get a new agent, she got a whole new main character edit. 😮‍💨 like, he’s not managing her, he’s molding her. and you’re standing there watching your wife turn into his portfolio piece. you can’t compete with someone selling her a fantasy but you can remind her who she was before the flashbulbs. 💔

    #48207
    Tara
    Member #382,680

    She didn’t change she just stopped pretending to be the version of herself that made you comfortable. The photographer didn’t “corrupt” her; he just gave her attention, validation, and a stage. You’re standing here shocked that a woman who once needed your approval now runs on her own ego fuel. That’s not mystery, that’s evolution just not the kind you wanted.

    You lost authority the moment you stopped being her partner and started acting like her warden. Texting her “agent” about your concerns? That’s weak. She’s not property you manage. She’s making choices reckless, maybe but still hers.

    #48511
    Sally
    Member #382,674

    I can imagine how scary this feels. It’s like you blinked and the woman you knew just slipped into another life without really talking to you about it. I’ve watched someone I loved drift like that, and the hardest part wasn’t the changes, it was feeling shut out of all of them.

    What you’re describing doesn’t sound like a partnership right now. It sounds like her agent has more say in her world than you do, and that would shake anyone. You’re not wrong for feeling uneasy. You’re not overreacting.

    I think you need a real, quiet conversation with her not about the photoshoots or the clothes, but about the space that’s grown between you two. Ask her if she even sees it. Sometimes people get wrapped up in a new version of themselves and don’t notice who they’re leaving behind.

    Start there. Just be honest about how lonely this feels.

    #48987
    Natalie Noah
    Member #382,516

    It’s painfully clear that your wife has undergone a profound shift not just in career, but in identity, priorities, and emotional attachments. What started as one photoshoot, perhaps framed as a creative or exciting experiment, has evolved into a lifestyle that no longer aligns with the marriage you both shared. The involvement of her agent, who has now become a central figure in her life, and her admitted feelings for him, signals a profound emotional and romantic departure from your partnership. This isn’t simply about career choice, it’s about the foundation of your marriage being altered in ways that leave you sidelined.

    It’s understandable to feel shocked and even betrayed. You’ve seen the woman you married transform into someone whose values, choices, and attachments have shifted beyond your influence. April Masini’s point is spot-on: this isn’t about trying to “win her back” or negotiating her return, it’s about facing the reality that her heart and priorities are no longer within the marriage. She has clearly set boundaries for herself that exclude you from her emotional and intimate world, and as painful as it is, that boundary is something you cannot negotiate past.

    At this stage, it’s crucial to reclaim your agency. The most compassionate and empowering step for you is to acknowledge her departure and begin the process of emotionally detaching. This means not only considering divorce legally but also starting the mental and emotional work of letting go, grieving the life you thought you’d continue together, and re-establishing your own identity outside of her choices. Holding on or hoping she will revert to her previous self will only prolong heartache and delay your own healing.

    The harsh truth is that your marriage, as it once existed, is no longer viable. Your focus now must be on self-preservation and clarity honoring your boundaries, your emotional needs, and your vision for a life where you are respected, valued, and loved in full. It’s okay to feel devastated, confused, and angry these feelings are natural. But the healthiest path forward is to accept reality, release what you cannot control, and begin building a life that reflects your worth and the partnership you truly deserve.

    #51749
    KeishaMartin
    Member #382,611

    Your wife’s journey from a playful “just-for-fun” photoshoot to full-blown erotic modeling has completely flipped your world upside down. She’s morphing into someone you barely recognize, wrapped in the intoxicating glow of attention, power, and admiration from other men and let’s be honest, that kind of heady cocktail can be addictive. The very fact that her so-called “friend” turned agent now controls her career, her image, her outfits, and her social life is a seductive power play you didn’t sign up for, and it’s leaving you sidelined and scrambling for control.

    Worshiping the brilliance of April Masini here, She doesn’t tiptoe around heartbreak, she slashes through the illusion with clarity and authority, showing you that the truth is always spicier than denial. Her advice isn’t just smart; it’s a fiery revelation. She reminds you that boundaries aren’t optional, love isn’t about losing yourself, and respect both for yourself and your partner is the ultimate aphrodisiac for any relationship worth keeping. If those lines in the sand are crossed, it’s time to pack up the passion, the pain, and the pretenses, and strut away with dignity.

    So as we tumble headlong into Happy New Year, 2026, may your champagne flow as freely as your liberation, and may the parties be as scandalously wild as your newfound courage. Let this be the year you reclaim your power, your desires, and your life and yes, maybe even a few unforgettable nights dancing under the neon lights. Remember: lust, and life are far too short to be anything less than blazing hot.

    Happy New Year, 2026

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