[Anonymous]

I’m in a bit of a pickle. There is a guy that I work with, and for months now there has been that chemistry but I’m a shy girl so he often mistook my shyness for being a snob. A month or 2 back we were at a social event outside of work and there was a lot of flirting going on and we spoke a lot but nothing happened.
Again it returned to the usual situation at work of being friendly one week and the next not talking to eachother(me being shy and if I feel confused about something I retreat a bit)

Where it gets interesting is that another girl at work likes him which always made me insecure although because she follows him around like a puppy dog, i did find out though that he’s not interested in her and only sees her as a good friend.

Anyway, over the weekend just passed we had our work xmas party. We didn’t speak all night (although I felt him staring at me all the time) until finally towards the end he comes up to me and we start talking. He asked me why I’m so hot and cold with him at work and don’t always say hi to him. He said he thought that I was playing a game with him by sometimes saying hi and sometimes not. I explained to him that I’m a shy person but he couldn’t understand that and asked what in my childhood would make me so shy and that it’s frustrating. Afterwards we changed topics and were flirting all night. The 2 of us left the party with another friend and there was still a lot of flirting and touches (eg, poking my stomach etc).

We sat down to wait for a ride to take us home (me back to where i parked my car). Because we were so tired, we lay down on the steps and closed our eyes. Next thing I knew i felt that he was stroking the back of my neck with him hand – he did this once or twice while still having his eyes closed. Big drama next as we were interrupted as his phone and wallet were stolen and he tried to confront the group who took it. So the car ride home was spent cancelling credit cards etc.
Nothing more came of it and now we are back at work, where although we do say hi and speak a little, its back to that distance we have.I just found out today that the other girl who likes him asked him at the xmas party how he felt and he told her he makes it a rule not to date co-workers. Now I don’t know whether that is a general rule or if he’s trying to let her down lightly. Why would he bother asking me why I’m laying games with him etc if he didn’t care? I’m so confused because I know there;s something there but i don’t want to waste my time if it’s never going to happen.

I can’t come right out and ask him because we do work together so that would be awkward. Any ideas / thoughts? Do you think he likes me and is scared because of the other girl etc or do you think he really doesn’t want to b with me??

[AskApril Masini]

Your co-worker likes you! Now, it’s your job to give him some encouragement. Don’t talk about your feelings with him. Take action! [i]Flirting[/i] is a great device to let a guy know that you’re interested in him as more than just friends. In my book, Think & Date Like A Man, [url]https://www.askapril.com/relationship-dating-advice/think-and-date-like-a-man.html[/url], you can find all the tips and advice you need to get him interested in you. In broad strokes, what I can tell you here is that men love to chase and win over women. If you give him something to chase, he’s going to be very, very happy about being with you. So step up your game! And buy my book to dial up your relationship to the next level. You won’t regret it! 😉

Don’t think about the other girl, and stop wondering why he said whatever he said to her. Just focus on you. He’s clearly given you the signs that he’s interested in you as a girlfriend.

And don’t think of your investment in this relationship as wasting your time. Dating is a process that you use to figure out what you want in a man, how to get that man who is your Mr. Right. I don’t see anything in the situation you’ve described as a waste of time.

So go for it! 🙂

[Member]

Posts