[tina000]

Thank you April…I was seeking your thumbs up. I hear you and I get it 😀

[tina000]

Thank you for the replies..so heres my update

First..To April., At the time he took this trip was 18 days into the relationship., He told me we were exclusive and one of the reasons I allowed myself to sleep with him. I had already had a 3 day trip with my friends planned and he had already had his “So called Vacation Planned” prior to when we met. The night before I left and he left for “our seperate trips”, we were very much into each other. I did not wait a year or to this moment of moveing in with him to question that week. I questioned him as soon as he returned from that trip because of the lack of communication during that time and he did not answer his phone when I called. I have randomly questioned him about that trip appx 4 other times the entire year, because I always felt there was a lie to it. To be as close as we were when we parted ways for these two seperate trips and he just not call me the entire 3 days was very odd. So with this said, he lied everytime it bothered me enough to question him throughout the year. I wasn’t a nag about it., It was just a thing that kept me reserved and I didnt want to move in with him feeling this way when everything else with him is so wonderful.
We are very much in love now and that is why the moving in thing is happening..I still had this nagging thought in my mind troubling me because it was the onset of the relationship., the foundation of it and I didn’t want it to be based on a lie. So the closer I am prepare to move in with him I wanted to do so without this on my mind anymore., that is when I sat him down and told him how I felt. I just wanted him to come clean so we can move on without any mistruths.
Since I orginally wrote to you a few days ago., he sat me down and talked to me without my asking to discuss the fallout from this revelation. He knows I am hurt over this but being silent with my thoughts. He reinterated what was on his mind back then and that this was planned before he met me. He said he knew I was the one when he left to go, during it., even having sex..it was just sex to him without any feeling and he said it was then he knew I was the one for sure. He said he just had to find out since this was someone he has conversed with on line for a long time before I came along as well as planned. He said he told her after the three days it wasnt what he wanted and tried to explain to her and she told him he didnt need to explain. He said he couldnt wait to get back to me and for real put 100 percent into the relationship. He said he has been 100 percent mine since..he has no doubts. He apologized to me and told me I had made so many comments about cheating and someone lieing that he was afraid to tell me because in all honesty that trip meant nothing and it was not worth losing me., our relationship was too new to handle the truth and because it was only three weeks into the realtionship when were both getting into the relationship he did not feel it should be a deal breaker.
So I have agreed to move forward with him and keep our plans., in some weird way I think this brought us closer because we have had no problems ever., it was a test to see how we communicate as a couple and he was very mature about it., he faced it head on and put my feelings first now that is. With all this said., is my decision a good one? I feel it is., I just want to make sure I am not ignoring a BIG RED FLAG!

[tina000]

Thanks April..

You mentioned Passive Aggressive Behavior…Hum very interesting. What do you know about Passive Aggressive Men and Border line Passive Agressive? I found this interesting and I think you really hit the nail on the head!

[Member]

Posts