[easterbunny]

Well, I read your book, but I only have sex with men I am dating monogamously, after we both were tested for STD’s ( and still use condom, of course). I just have no interest in sex with a man who is a casual date. So what is your suggestion ? Have no sex for 3 months ?

[easterbunny]

We dated a few months and I am 30.
With other guys it was also moving in after a few months.

[easterbunny]

Hi April,

I would definitely feel better if he proposed marriage with set time frame and living together for 6-12 months before that day. But that was not what he asked … I lived with 3 different men before and every time it was without marriage talk, just “natural progression” that didn’t progress further and eventually I left 2 of them, 1 left me.

Is there a subtle way to let him know that I am not opposed to moving in, but on certain conditions ? I don’t want to “bargain”, but maintain my dignity.

[easterbunny]

Thanks a lot for your reply, April !
I have already dropped booty calls with ex before writing to you, realized that it was self-sabotage in a way.
I am 30 years old and feel the clock ticking, so trying to date wisely now.

I was not going to tell new man/men about “compliance in exact those same words”, I would say something along the lines of “we were not on the same page” , and explain that the page was “marriage” if he asks more about it.
What you wrote is very similar in nature.
“he was not into the same kind of intimacy and commitment” is fairly transparent too and if he questions further, i will have to say the “commitment” was “marriage” or he can work it out himself easily .
So, is your advice to tell, but word it carefully ?

[Member]

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