Sorry, I suppose that would help =) I have been seeing this guy for about 3 months now. We haven’t missed a day on the phone since we started talking. At first, he wasn’t sure if he wanted a relationship..then I was his girlfriend. Then he said he wasn’t sure how serious he wanted to get because he planned to move out of state within the year. He has said that he doesn’t want to get my hopes up, but there’s a possibility I could be there with him and a possibility I could not..he’s just “going with the flow.” I am concerned, however, that he may be stringing me along to have sex with fear that if he doesn’t give me something that I am wanting, I’ll take it away from him. Clearly, I’m assuming, we are wanting two different things. I’m learning that exclusivity is important to me in a relationship. In the beginning, I was very private and quiet about our relationship in case it did not work out..and him the same. He has since told a few family members and close friends we are dating. When I mention that I don’t like how when we are in public people would not even be able to tell we are dating he replies that his father was never affectionate towards his mother in public, and neither is his other father figure with his wife. Problem is…I don’t think either of those relationships seem all that fantastic. My concern, is that after three months of dating, he has declined a relationship request from me on facebook (I asked if he was going to accept, he said I don’t know, so I deleted the request), and I’m still not being seen with him as the platonic girlfriend. I can only wait for SO long. Of course, the more I bring it up, the further away it pushes him. . . which is frustrating, because it’s something that is really bothering me. I do not want my boyfriend appearing to be single. When we are in public I do not want him walking five feet in front of me, or me five in front of him. (This is something we developed early on in the relationship & have talked about) I’m to the point where I am about to stop giving him “girlfriend benefits” without him doing “boyfriend work”. No more staying the night & all that non-sense. And quite frankly…I’m just about being pushed to starting to date other men who want to put in the effort. I have no idea what to do or think. Please help me understand what is going on and what the best thing I can do is. Thanks =)
mimi89
Member #114,491