[HanhLe]

I’m 21

Well, technically we broke up because she’s dating the other guy now and she doesn’t want to say she loves me anymore, but still, she has deep feelings for me because she still contacts me a lot, calling, asking me to get online, etc. though she likes the other guy A LOT, too and apparently he has a lot more advantage than me just to be near her. One thing that made me wonder is that she keeps telling me how great he is… is she trying to get me jealous or something? Oh well, if she is then she can stop because obviously I am jealous (though I didn’t tell her that, I just act cool) Or she wants me to listen to those that I lack and fix myself? If so why would she say she just wants to be friends with me? At the end, I’m still always the one to be there and comfort her when she needs someone while that other guy is nowhere to be found, like tonight, when she got into big problem with her parents and she told me she didn’t want to cry on his ear and he wouldn’t pick up the phone anyways (she called me first then I suggested her to call him). Tonight, she was all emotion after she told me about her problem and told me she was tired. I held her and got close then we kissed (cyber kiss as we always did in the pass), she was on cam and I could see she was remembering my kiss in real life. I thought the time was perfect so I sort of keep going and sort of reminding her what I would do all the time to comfort her but then in the middle, she withdrew and said the shirt that she was wearing, which smelled like him was bothering her and invading her mind when she was trying to think about me. Before that, we talked for almost an hour on the phone and when I asked her if I still had a place in her heart, she got really quiet and said, “yes, you have a whole separate heart for yourself.” and I asked her what about him, she told me, he has the biggest place in her bigger heart where she put all those people that she loves and loved. I don’t really understand this. I guess it means I’m still really special for her even though my place in her heart is smaller than his? I know she still loves me a lot but this guy is really get in the way. He appears to her that he is that really cool guy but according to her sister (who’s also his ex) he was a total a** and a playboy, he was nice to her at first too, but he turned. I really don’t want her to get hurt.. I really don’t… Right now I just want her to realize we have so much chemistry and I’m better than the other guy and get him out of her mind before any damage would be done. Also, part of me is worried, “what if he is not like that with her? What if he wouldn’t turn and she wouldn’t leave him?”

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