[katdawg]

I agree with April. I met someone online and went out on a couple of dates with him. He knew I had a surgery scheduled but I guess he forgot and when I didn’t return his email on his time his true colors came out in his tempered email. BIG turn off and I never replied to him again. He sent a few more ugly ones but he eventually got the hint I wasn’t into him. Your date seems to be a little immature playing those silly games. There are other ways to go about being safe on a date rather than bring a friend along to try to get her to kiss another man while she has a boyfriend. Why would the girl you took on a date want to do that? Hmmmmmm

[katdawg]

I totally agree…move on. :O) Thirty-seven and have dated quite a bit in my life I realized people come into our lives to teach us something we were meant to learn. We all feel the pain and loss of losing someone special to us but we also need to remind ourselves to keep moving forward and not dwell on the past but learn from it. You ARE going to be okay and you seem the type to learn and grow. She seems to be stuck in some childish ways while you are maturing and turning the pages. You deserve the best.

[katdawg]

why would you even want to be involved with someone like that? you saw with your own eyes he was with another woman…married or not. isn’t he supposed to be building a future with you? how can he be when you’re out there chasing him around trying to find out where he is or which bed he’s in? are you really that desperate? think smarter.

[katdawg]

[katdawg]

you’re pretty selfish. poor kids; look what you’re putting them through. you are offering them no stability in their lives and the question I have is how many more children are you going to bring into this world with no real family to put them into? when are you going to start thinking for what’s best for your children and who can offer the MOST NORMALCY for your children’s upbringing? what kind of example are you setting for them? wow. and this is the question you have for us all? poor kids.

[katdawg]

I agree. RUN. If you stay tie your tubes so you don’t bring babies into that relationship.

[katdawg]

not even married and there are already problems. everyone is different..but i personally prefer honest and open communication – especially if you’re planning on spending a lifetime together (marriage), raising children (which requires a lot of communication and being on the same page about tons of subjects). personal preference and what you’re willing to tolerate. i understand how you’re feeling and wish you the best.

[katdawg]

you should stick to your guns. i’m now 36 and i’m still single. i was married to the wrong man for 9 years and got married at 27 and THAT was too young – and you’re how old? i have so many regrets, but i know i can’t go back and change anything. what i realize now at my age is that i should have saved something as sacred as sex for marriage. it’s hard, very hard. as i’m turning to religion to help me through life i am learning as i go. i’m in the same situation as yourself – but at 36. wow! i’m realizing i don’t want sex unless it is in a loving committed relationship and i’ve learned that that means marriage. my experience at 19, when i thought i was in love and wanted to do whatever it took to keep a “boy”, i found myself pregnant. unfortunately i took a life. BIGGEST regret of my life and now that it is very difficult for me to get pregnant – which is part of why i let my ex husband go – i get angry (at times). do you think at your age you’re ready for consequences should your actions create a human life? is HE ready …that should be the question? there’s a whole lot of life ahead of you and as my father once told me there are a MILLION men on this EARTH….is this one really worth it and is everything you WANT in a man? first off…he’s not respecting you and what you’ve expressed. so…is this rape…since your no does not mean no to him?

[katdawg]

in my opinion someone in her childhood made her the way she is. i admit i am the same way, but i am working really hard to overcome this problem so that i won’t keep doing what is happening in your case. i would send emails and write out my feelings just as you described. i used to think at least it’s getting communicated in some form..right? welll….see how frustrated you are and i admit some ex’s i’ve left behind were. i can tell you my story and it may or may not be your case…but hey…it’s somewhere to start. i grew up with a narcissistic mother. if i wasn’t the pretty wall flower or did as she please i got hell. my dad…probably a little bit as well but it was mostly my mom. i was never able to explain myself or my feelings were always discarded and never mattered. i’m 36 now and i’m still scare to express my wants or something i’m upset about. i learned to express vocally, but i think i took it to the extreme because a guy described me as annoying. so finding a happy medium is a challenge. maybe approaching her with empathy and compassion will help. i know i am looking for someone “safe” i can express freely using my voice to rather than email/text. maybe letting her know by SAYING/TELLING her it’s safe for her to come to you. you won’t judge her or think any less of her for what she has to say and that ya’ll can work through it together. see, my mom just thought i was stupid with my feelings and i guess sooo many years of that beaten into me….it’s fearful to express feelings (at least for me). just something to think about – maybe it’ll help/maybe it won’t. hope all works out for ya.

[katdawg]

i think you’ll just have to decide if this is a deal breaker for you. it was for me with my ex-boyfriend. he tends to have more female friends than male friends and thought it was appropriate to go out of town with this one in particular and go to the movies and dinner with her on a friday night. i expressed i was not comfortable with that and the response i got was that we weren’t even “together” yet so i had no right to be upset. well, lesson learned on my part – just because you have sex doesn’t mean there’s a full commitment to one another. we split up; it was a deal breaker for me. if you are a like me and just wants to have your feelings considered (and especially if she is your fiance….meaning you plan to spend the rest of your life with person….)you’ll have to consider is this the type of person you want to marry? someone who isn’t going to consider your feelings and put someone else before you? let no man turn us under. well…..i think she is letting someone do that. good luck to you! oh, two months later that ex contacted me again and well…..it’s a different story for me now. sigh…i just can’t seem to get a commitment. here’s a saying: you “get” what you “tolerate”.

[Member]

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